Make It Rain – The Tavon Cash Story

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Scars
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Make It Rain – The Tavon Cash Story

Post by Scars » 27 Dec 2018, 04:05

C-Dub wrote:
21 Dec 2018, 18:42
BBB dumps Lonzo and signs Cash?
maybe :curtain:
The JZA wrote:
21 Dec 2018, 21:52
Odds are Cash lands in SAC :yup: :ss:
Kings can't even get the first pick in this draft unless a trade happens :bazechief:
Captain Canada wrote:
26 Dec 2018, 16:14
NBA time :blessed:
His time is now!
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Scars
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Make It Rain – The Tavon Cash Story

Post by Scars » 27 Dec 2018, 04:05

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Chapter 18
May 16, 2017.

"Can we please change the channel?" Tavon asked Haziel who was busy watching a horse race. Tavon would usually leave the angel to his own business, but tonight was different. In just a couple of minutes, the NBA Draft lottery would start. The event that will decide which one of the fourteen teams get the first pick. The team that will land the highly-touted prospect Tavon Cash.

Haziel ignored Tavon's bickering and continued to watch the race while shoving a handful of Cheetos Puffs into his mouth. Determined to watch the lottery, Tavon kept insisting and started to shake Haziel by the shoulder. A few moments later, Haziel finally conceded and looked up to Tavon. "Why do you want to change the channel?"

"The NBA Draft Lottery, of course! Did you forget?"

"No, it's just there's more important things to watch on the television right now," Haziel sighed as he turned his gaze back to the television. "Why do you even care so much? It doesn't matter what team you'll play for. You get drafted, you dominate the NBA, I go home. Simple as that, Tavon."

Tavon shook his head. He slapped the Cheetos Puffs bag out of Haziel's hand, causing a heap of Cheetos Puffs to fall on the floor.

"Why, Tavon? Just why?" Haziel asked Tavon, dumbfounded by his poor Cheetos being soiled by the floor.

While Haziel's guard was down, Tavon snatched the remote from the angel's hand. The remote was covered in grease and Cheetos dust, which was something that Tavon grown accustomed to for the past month since leaving the Miami campus. "Man, why don't you use your clean hand when using the remote? I thought angels are supposed to be more tidy than this."

Tavon quickly wiped off the remote with his pants and changed the TV channel to ESPN. The draft lottery had already started as Mark Tatum had just revealed that the fifth pick will go to the Sacramento Kings. That leaves four teams still in the running for the first pick: the Celtics, the Suns, the Lakers, and the Sixers.

"You do know that we know the results already, right?" Haziel says as he picks up all the fallen Cheetos on the floor. "Since you're not in the NBA yet, things in this universe are still running on the same course as the other universe. Even though you're affecting the mock drafts, you're only replacing Markelle Fultz as the main player to tank for while Fultz slides into Lonzo Ball's role as the #2 player of the draft. Once you get drafted, events in the NBA of this universe will diverge from other universes."

Tavon did not realize this fact until because the outcomes of the seasons in Indiana high school basketball and college were different because he was around. He assumed that a parallel universe would randomly change results of some events; however, that did not seem the case here. What was supposed to be highly anticipated event in Tavon's basketball career turned anti-climatic quickly. Suppose that the draft lottery ends the same way as it did in his previous life, then the first pick would go to the Boston Celtics. In that case, the Celtics would trade that pick to the Sixers. If Tavon was the consensus projected first overall pick instead of Fultz, would the Celtics still trade the pick? That question now rings around Tavon's mind.

"And the fourth pick for the 2017 NBA Draft goes to...the Phoenix Suns." So far, the draft lottery is playing out the same way it did in Tavon's previous life. The Suns, who had the second highest lottery chances at 19.9%, dropped out of the top three while the Sixers move into it.

"See? Silly human, I told you," Haziel gloats while throwing the Cheetos into the trash.

Disappointed, Tavon placed the remote on the table and walked over to the fridge. He took out a Subway sandwich from the fridge and put it into the microwave to warm it up. It was a Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki footlong, not Tavon's favorite thing to get at Subway but he did not mind eating it.

While Tavon was occupied with preparing his dinner, Haziel tiptoed towards the coffee table to get the remote. Tavon, however, was aware of the situation occurring behind his back. Once the microwave finished heating up the sandwich, Tavon grabbed one half of the footlong and threw it in Haziel's direction. The sandwich flew through the air in a perfect spiral so elegant that would make Uncle Rico shed a tear, hitting Haziel right in the face. Haziel was knocked down mere inches from his target to the recently cleaned floor, which was now plastered with teriyaki chicken and vegetables.

"Oh my, Tavon!" Haziel shouted as he slowly stood back up. "How can you waste such good food like that?! Derek Baldwin would've donated that sandwich to charity! Matthew 26:8, Tavon! 'But when his disciples saw it, they had indignation, saying, To what purpose is this waste?'"

"I don't wanna hear any of that coming from you. How about you act more angelic for once?"

"You humans don't know anything about angels..." Haziel mutters quietly as he grabs a piece of teriyaki chicken off his cheek and throws it at Tavon who dodges it easily. He sat down on the couch, picked up the remote, and changed the channel back to the horse race. "Tavon, it doesn't matter what team gets you. Regardless of how terrible the situation of that team, I will make sure you do not get harmed. I promise you...except if you go to the Lakers."

"What's wrong with the Lakers?"

"Magic Johnson."

"What about Magic- oh no, don't tell me."

"Yes, it is about that. Magic is bald. I know your luck around these hairless individuals, and I am not sure even I can save you from his wrath. Not only is he bald but he has AIDS. Watch out, Tavon. If you work out with the Lakers, be careful with any fluids they offer to you. You might get infected. I can't have my ride back to Heaven be infected with that."

"Screw you, man. Dang...." Tavon throws the other half of the footlong at the back of Haziel's head. If Tavon played football instead of basketball, scouts would be drooling over his arm.

"Tavon, stop wasting food!" Haziel turns around and yells in frustration.

"Then stop with the bald stuff!"

"I can't do that. I didn't want to believe it, but you have ridiculously bad luck against bald people. You're winless against any team that has a bald person, coach or player. At least LeBron has wins in the Finals. You can't even beat someone without hair."

"I'm done talking with you. Good night."

"You still need to clean up the mes-" Haziel tries to tell Tavon who went to his room before Haziel can finish his sentence.

Because Haziel changed the channel before the draft lottery showed who got the number one pick, Tavon had to check on his phone instead. Haziel was right. Everything in the draft is exactly the same. Celtics first, Lakers second, Sixers third. Something Tavon found funny was the video of LaVar Ball celebrating the Lakers getting the second pick as if he expects them to draft his son. With Lonzo's draft stock plummeting dramatically, people think LaVar just gone senile. That Lonzo was just a high school wonder. Nevertheless, the Ball family did not matter to Tavon. He has to focus on the next thing on his list: pre-draft workouts.
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Agent
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Make It Rain – The Tavon Cash Story

Post by Agent » 27 Dec 2018, 11:16

Derek Baldwin would’ve donated to charity :lol:
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Make It Rain – The Tavon Cash Story

Post by Chillcavern » 27 Dec 2018, 15:05

Haziel wrote:You can't even beat someone without hair
:dead: this shit is hilarious man
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Scars
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Make It Rain – The Tavon Cash Story

Post by Scars » 27 Dec 2018, 18:09

Agent wrote:
27 Dec 2018, 11:16
Derek Baldwin would’ve donated to charity :lol:
Baldwin cares for the needy
Chillcavern wrote:
27 Dec 2018, 15:05
Haziel wrote:You can't even beat someone without hair
:dead: this shit is hilarious man
he's right :kghah:
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Scars
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Make It Rain – The Tavon Cash Story

Post by Scars » 27 Dec 2018, 18:10

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chosenone58
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Make It Rain – The Tavon Cash Story

Post by chosenone58 » 27 Dec 2018, 23:53

All caught up. Just as I was ready to give props for the Derek Baldwin shout out, you disrespect my guy with the charity line. That's cold blooded.

I can't believe y'all lost by two points in the championship.
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I think that is definitely the worst loss in sports chising history.

You can play for the Lakers. Magic isn't the coach, Cash will be fine. As long as LeBron holds on to his hairline for the next four years, he should be good.
Creator of Derek Baldwin da Gawd
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Make It Rain – The Tavon Cash Story

Post by Agent » 28 Dec 2018, 21:03

Cash and Lebron
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Make It Rain – The Tavon Cash Story

Post by Scars » 30 Dec 2018, 00:41

chosenone58 wrote:
27 Dec 2018, 23:53
All caught up. Just as I was ready to give props for the Derek Baldwin shout out, you disrespect my guy with the charity line. That's cold blooded.

I can't believe y'all lost by two points in the championship.
Image
I think that is definitely the worst loss in sports chising history.

You can play for the Lakers. Magic isn't the coach, Cash will be fine. As long as LeBron holds on to his hairline for the next four years, he should be good.
Awww, come on. You know Baldwin would give food to those in need. But yeah that PItt game was a hard loss to suck up. Shame that was how Cash's college career ends but oh well. On to the next level
Agent wrote:
28 Dec 2018, 21:03
Cash and Lebron
Still a year away from Bron going to LA, but that would be an interesting pair :ooo:
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Make It Rain – The Tavon Cash Story

Post by Scars » 30 Dec 2018, 00:42

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Chapter 19
June 16, 2017.

Now less than a week from the NBA Draft, teams are getting in their last minute scouting reports on prospects. The Boston Celtics have been gifted the number one overall pick in this year's draft thanks to that Nets trade from a few years ago, but now they face a very important decision. Will they draft Tavon Cash or will they trade down in the draft?

Brad Stevens walks into Danny Ainge's office after receiving a text from the Celtics' general manager that they need to talk in person immediately.

"You need me, sir?" Stevens asked Ainge.

Ainge typed something on his computer before looking up to Stevens. "Yes, take a seat."

Stevens promptly listened and sat down on the chair that faces Ainge's desk. He did not think his job was endangered since the Celtics made the conference finals last season, but you can never know what Ainge is thinking. He had faith in Ainge that he is included in the Celtics' future plans, and this meeting was just Ainge asking him his opinion on something team related.

"What do you think of Tavon Cash?" Ainge leaned forward and questioned Stevens.

"From what I saw in the workouts, Cash would be an amaz-"

"I want to trade the pick." Ainge expressed his thoughts, interrupting Stevens' answer.

"Um...if that's what you want to do, I'm all for it. May I ask why do you not want Cash? Is it because we have IT?"

"No, of course not," Ainge shrugged. "In fact, I wanna trade that stupid midget too."

"I'm not trying to back talk you, sir, but that 'stupid midget' played his heart out for this team in the playoffs despite his sister dying."

Ainge lunged over his desk and grabbed Stevens by his neck tie. "Look here, Stevens. I don't give a damn about any of that. If I can trade his sister's corpse for a draft pick, I'll do it in a heartbeat. I don't care about players' feelings or whatever they go through. I will trade my family to Orlando for them to rot there for eternity if it means making this team better. Mess with me and I'll trade you for MCW and Chicago's first round picks for the next ten years."

Ainge used Stevens' tie to push him back into his seat and sat back down at his desk. This was Danny Ainge at his finest. Ainge is a soulless man who sees his players as mere pawns in his little game. If the NBA was one big Civilization game, he would be Gandhi. You think he is a peaceful old man until he drops nukes on your favorite team and takes all their draft picks.

"So...if we trade down, who are you targeting?" Stevens inquired as he regains his breath.

"Jayson Tatum. Cash and Fultz will be great players, but I am just infatuated with Tatum. That kid is Hall of Fame material. I've actually been talking to the Lakers and Celtics about trade offers for the last couple of days."

"That's great, sir. So why do you need me here?"

"Oh, you're right. I don't need you here. You can go," Ainge waved off Stevens.

Stevens got up and opened the door to leave, but a delivery man holding a giant package stood in the hallway. Stevens walked around the delivery man and went to the break room for a cup of coffee.

"Package for Danny Ainge?"

"Yes, that's me. Can you place it over there? Thank you." Ainge used a pen to point to the corner on his right-hand side. The delivery man placed the package down where Ainge ordered and closed the door as he left.

Ainge opened the door slightly, scanning the hallway for anyone in the vicinity, and locked the door after confirming that he was all alone. Holding a pair of scissors in his hands, he tore the top of the package wide open and took out a Terry Rozier body pillow that was inside. The pillow was exactly what Ainge wished for when he ordered it online. He rubbed his hand all over the two-way tricot texture that was used for the pillow cover that had the full body picture of Terry Rozier in a Celtics uniform. He was so fascinated with his biggest transaction since the Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce trade to the Nets that he kissed the body pillow in the lips, something that his wife Michelle has not experienced in years.

Carrying his brand-new Rozier pillow proudly in his right arm, Ainge walked behind his desk and stood in front of a structure that was covered with a green cloth. He furiously threw the cloth down to the floor to uncover a shrine dedicated to his first round pick of the 2015 NBA Draft. The center of the shrine featured a picture of Terry Rozier wearing a Celtics hat for the first time after being drafted and below it contained Rozier figures that the normal man would not imagine ever exist. Catboy Rozier, Magical Boy Rozier, Speedo Rozier, Maid Rozier--those are just some of the Rozier figures that Ainge owns. If his wife and Terry Rozier were both drowning and he can only save one of them, he would obviously save Rozier.

"Don't worry, Terry," Ainge whispered as he caresses the left cheek of the Rozier picture on the body pillow. "I will get rid of that midget and you will be the franchise player. I'm not letting Cash or Fultz ruin my plans. Nobody will."

---

The Next Day

Tavon and Haziel were preparing to leave Los Angeles to go back to Boston for Tavon's second workout session on the 19th; however, they were forced to change plans. As the two were about to leave the hotel, Adrian Wojnarowski sent out one of his famous "Woj Bombs." Just like Tavon's original universe, the Boston Celtics have traded the first overall pick to the Philadelphia 76ers. Even with someone who was more of a transcendent talent than Fultz like Tavon being the most highly touted prospect for the draft, the Celtics still traded their pick away.

"Haziel, change of plans," Tavon shows Haziel Woj's Twitter. "We're not going to Boston."

"Sixers did the trade, huh?" Haziel responded.

Tavon puts his phone back into his pocket and lets out a big grin. "Yep, we going to Philly."
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