War of the Roses: Redux Edition

This is where to post any NFL or NCAA football franchises.
User avatar

Captain Canada
Posts: 890
Joined: 01 Dec 2018, 05:15

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Captain Canada » 06 Jan 2020, 20:05

Caesar lit like a Christmas tree - that is evidently currently hanging outside their house :drose:
User avatar

Topic author
Posts: 1588
Joined: 27 Nov 2018, 15:47

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Caesar » 07 Jan 2020, 22:15


“How are you going to try to cheat in Go Fish?” Devin asked, putting his hand over the pile of cards on the table between him and Carla.

Carla plucked his fingers until he pulled his hand back. “It’s not cheating. It’s being organized. The cards were falling off the stack so I fixed it.”

“Fixed it while looking at the cards.”

“I can’t help it if the cards turned face up while I was straightening the pile.” She shrugged and looked at the cards in her hand. “Besides, you should be letting me win anyway. Here I am telling my daddy what a gentleman you are, and you can’t even let his favorite daughter win in a card game. He’d be so, so upset.”

“Aren’t you his only daughter? Or is your brother transgender?”

“Favorite. Only. Semantics. It’s a good argument to let me win.”

He shook his head and picked up the card off the top of the stack. “I don’t need to impress your dad any more than I already have. Are you forgetting that we bonded over the finer points of a proper steak dinner? Me and Curt are tight.”

“You and Curt, huh?”

“Yeah, my podna as he would say.”

“Sounds like I’m going to have to kick you to the curb then. I can’t be a part of any illegal bromances going on in here.”

“You can’t get in the way of true love, Carla. Don’t be so jealous.”

A set of rough knocks on the door had Carla pushing away from the table to answer it. She pointed at the cards as she walked away. “Don’t cheat either. I’m watching you.”

The banging became incessant when she was only a few inches from the door.

“I’m fucking coming! Jesus Christ!” she shouted as she unlocked the door and yanked it open. On the other side stood Kaley and her boyfriend, David, who had his hand raised to continue knocking on the door. Carla looked at him with narrowed eyes. “Next time, act a little more civilized with how you knock on the fucking door.”

“We’ve been standing out here for 10 minutes pressing the doorbell. Kaley sent you like thirty texts that you didn’t answer,” he said.

Kaley only shrugged when Carla looked at her for confirmation.

Carla reached out of the door and jabbed the doorbell. No sound. “It doesn’t fucking work. Try being patient next time.”

“Or fix the doorbell,” David shot back.

“Just come in before the neighbors think y’all are Mormons spreading the word.”

“Can’t say I’d mind more than one wife,” David laughed before wrapping his arm around Kaley’s waist and essentially leading her into the house.

Carla closed her eyes and sighed, already hoping that this impromptu visit would be a short one. Devin looked up from the small card pyramid he’d started to build when the three of them walked inside.

Carla sat back down across from him. “Devin, that’s my cousin Kaley and her boyfriend. Kaley and boyfriend, this is Devin.”

“I have a name, Carla. I’m David.”

Kaley only gave a slight wave.

“What’s up?” Devin looked at the rather grungy jeans and boots he was wearing. Only the camo jacket he had on seemed to be clean. “Just getting off from work, man?”

“Yeah, just getting off the boat. Boss had us on a 21 day hitch, but you know how that is. Someone gotta get the black gold out the ground.”

Devin nodded. “Totally. Damn... bosses.”

David looked at Carla. “Mind if I use y’all bathroom? I gotta take a shit.” Before she could answer, he said, “Of course, you don’t mind. Hope you cleaned in there.”

Carla steepled her hands in front of her face and took a few deep breaths as David headed down the hallway. When she heard the door close, she almost fell out of her chair as she turned around to face Kaley.

“Why the fuck is David James in my house right now? Why the fuck are you still with him? Why the fuck are you here? Why the fuck do you not talk for yourself when he’s around?” Carla reeled off, her hands waving about as she spoke.

“First of all, I do speak for myself when he’s around. I don’t know why you always say that shit. It’s not true,” Kaley snapped back. “And he asked me to get him from Fourchon so I decided to come visit you for a few days. Is there something wrong with family visiting one another?”

Carla scoffed. “Yes, it is one hundred thousand percent true. And no there’s nothing wrong with that, but David can’t stay here. You can, but he can’t.”

“Okay. I’ll ask him if he’s fine with that.”

Carla stared at Kaley for a moment then grabbed her hand and held it up. “And what the FUCK is this?”

“Looks like a ring to me,” Devin said.

“Shut up, Devin. You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to think about that, though? Yay, Kaley? Congratulations?”

“No, tell her she’s being a stupid bitch if she’s engaged to him in fucking high school.”

Kaley pulled her hand back. “It’s a promise ring because well... I’m not going to get engaged in high school. That’s crazy.”

“It’s crazy that you’re even still with him, but here we are. You better hope I don’t stab him before he leaves. Devin would definitely help me hide the body,” Carla said.

“I would?” Devin asked.

“Yes, you would.”

“Alright, alright. You made your point. You don’t like him,” Kaley said. “I’m going to need you to cover for me later though.”

“For what?”

“Well... I can’t exactly tell you, but if he asks just say that we went eat or something. I’ll wait until after I bring him to a hotel somewhere so it’s an easier lie to pull off.”

“You’re being sketchy, Kaley.”


“Only if you tell me why tomorrow.”

Kaley nodded. “Maybe so. By the way, your brother’s not here, is he?”

Carla palmed her face and shook her head. “No.”

“Thank God.”

“What do you have against Chris?” Devin asked.

“He always tries to catch glimpses of her naked. Weird little fuck,” Carla said.

“Shouldn’t have asked. Shouldn’t have asked.”


Caesar leaned on a golf club as he waited for Ron to line up a putt – his fifth attempt at making the putt, putting him at least seven strokes over par. Caesar was almost embarrassed that they had a similar handicap.

“Just pick it up and drop it in the hole!” Francesca shouted from the golf cart.

“Like hell he will,” Caesar said. “It’s a good thing you don’t have this much trouble putting things in holes off the course, Ron, or you’d just be struggling through life.”

Ron waved off the comment and pulled on the edge of the glove, that was on the wrong hand, before squatting to survey his approach for the umpteenth time. He stood up, lined up the putter and tapped the ball. This time, it rolled around the rim and dropped into the hole.

Ron jumped into the air and fist-pumped. “Fuck yeah! You’re going to be owing me money, motherfucker!”

“Emma, how’s the numbers looking?” Caesar asked as he placed his ball down.

“Well, I got a little confused with how many times Ron was hitting the ball, but I think he owes you like $150 right now,” Emma said, looking at her phone where she’d been trying to keep score as it was explained to her a couple hours ago.

“Francesca, keep an eye on her. You know Caesar a cheating motherfucker,” Ron said.

Caesar pulled his phone out of his back pocket after feeling it vibrate.

“Hey, motherfucker. Don’t be pulling up any apps to measure distance. Line up that putt like a man!” Ron swatted at the phone, but Caesar pulled it away.

“I’m answering a fucking text, dumbass.” He hit send and kept the phone in his hand as he looked at the green. He answered it as soon as it vibrated again.

“Today, bro.”

Caesar sighed as he lined up to take the putt, phone still in hand. Giving the ball just the slightest of taps, it slowly rolled to the edge of the hole before tipping in.

He held his hand out to Ron. “Eight more holes. You sure you don’t want to just quit now and give me a few hundred bucks?”

Ron slapped his hand down. “Fuck that. I’m going to win. Let’s go to the next one.”

“Ma’am, we have a dress code here. You can’t come in here wearing that.”

Kaley looked down at her clothes. “I don’t see what’s wrong with what I’m wearing. I’m just meeting someone here. I’m not trying to make it an everyday occurrence.”

The doorman shook his head. “You can’t come in here wearing that. It doesn’t fit our dress code for women. I’m sorry.”

“What is your dress code for women? A burka? I’m wearing fairly decent jeans and a sweater. You’re talking as if I’m naked.”

“There’s no need to get hostile, ma’am. I don’t want to have to call security.”

“Hostile?! I haven’t even raised my voice! If you could just get off your high horse for two God damn seconds, I--”

The doorman reached under the podium and grabbed his headset. Before he could get the word security out of his mouth, Caesar rounded the corner. He dropped his bag of clubs on the ground, glancing at Kaley and then the doorman.

“One moment, Mr. Jenkins. I just have to deal with this unruly young lady and I’ll be right with you.”

“Shut the fuck up, Darryl. She’s with me,” Caesar said. He turned to Kaley. “You didn’t tell him that?”

Kaley shrugged. “I was trying to get there until he started jabbering on about dress code.”

Caesar shook his head. “Darryl, have someone come take care of those clubs. Put her name down so we don’t have to go through all this shit next time.”

“Mr. Jenkins, it’s highly inappropriate--”

“Kaley Parfait. Put it down. I didn’t ask for a lecture about appropriateness. Tell your boss to go talk to my dad if it’s that much of a problem. We can go to the new club.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“Caesar, I don’t think I’ll be coming here all that often,” Kaley said.

Caesar shrugged and walked around the podium, opening the door for her. He waved his hand. “Gotta move quick.”

“Move quick?” she asked, walking inside of the clubhouse. Her eyes scanned the people milling about. They weren’t dressed all that fancy. “Why the rush?”

“Ron’s stalling for me while I sneak you in here. I was doing some couple-y shit when you texted me.” He led her up a set of stairs to a sitting area.

She remained standing while he sat. “If you’re here with your girlfriend, you should’ve said that. I can leave.”

“I said I was doing some couple-y shit, not that I have a girlfriend. Emma’s just Emma. We fuck. Besides, it’d make it easier for you if we both had a significant other to lose. And I know you didn’t just almost get arrested to walk right back out the door. Now, could you please sit down?”

Kaley looked around for a moment before sitting next to him. “So, Emma’s her name, huh?”

He laughed. “I know you aren’t about to try to talk about that of all things. Start with why are you in Houma.”

“You know why,” she said, her voice quietened a few levels.

“Staying with your cousin?”

“I’m not sure. I, uh, got a hotel room.”

“Well, shit,” Caesar said, smiling. “I’ve never fucked in a hotel room, but there’s a first time for everything.”

“I’m not a prostitute. I don’t fuck in hotel rooms,” Kaley shot back. Her next words came out in a jumble. “Also, David’s with me.”

The smile faded from Caesar’s face. He looked forward for a moment before turning back toward her. “You hungry? I’m going to be honest with you. Country club food isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be and the shit is expensive for no reason, but it’s better than Applebee’s.”

“What about Emma? She won’t be looking for you.”

“She’s already blowing my phone up, but I’ll deal with that later and you don’t need to worry about that.”

Kaley looked at her phone. She’d given herself an hour-and-a-half before she figured David would start looking for her. Fifty-five minutes left. She nodded, smiling. “I’ll be the judge of that, but I hope they don’t mistake me for the help.”
User avatar

Captain Canada
Posts: 890
Joined: 01 Dec 2018, 05:15

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Captain Canada » 08 Jan 2020, 04:34

Keep this shit going. I can't wait to see how you blow all this shit up.
User avatar

Topic author
Posts: 1588
Joined: 27 Nov 2018, 15:47

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Caesar » 08 Jan 2020, 22:19

Sometimes, You Reach Across the Aisle

Kaley set a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of Carla. Her cousin looked up from her phone and raised an eyebrow.

“You’re cooking, now?” Carla asked.

“Don’t say that like I haven’t always known how to cook.”

Carla turned the plate with her finger. “You just don’t tell David that because he’d have you in the kitchen three times a day to add to the waiting on him that you already do, right?”

“He knows I can cook.”

“Yeah, okay. So, what are you trying to butter me up for?” She picked up a slice of toast. “I don’t like grape jelly, by the way. I’m still going to eat this, though.”

Kaley sat down next to her. “I’m not asking you for anything. I just thought I’d make you breakfast to thank you for being the best cousin that a girl could ask for.”

“And this is where you get to what you want.”

“Okay, okay,” she said, her hands up in defense. “I need you and Devin to come eat with David and me tonight.”

“That’s worthy of having breakfast hand delivered?”

“I also need you to not be mad about something else.”

Carla dropped the toast. “What...”

Devin leaned against a pillar outside of one of the city’s eateries. He pulled on the strings of his hoodie as Carla paced back and forth in front of him. Every so often, she would stop and start to spit out the beginnings of a rant before sighing and starting to pace again.

“You’re going to wear out the bottoms of those shoes,” Devin said.

“I just... You know it’s fucking stupid how... I just can’t believe she... Fuck, it’s fucking... You know?”

Devin nodded slowly. “Definitely.”

“How are you not angry about all of this?”

“It’s not really my business. I’m just along for the ride which hopefully is a fairly calm one, but we both know how this is going to turn out.”

Carla scoffed. “Yeah, with someone going to fucking jail probably.”

“You could’ve said no.”

“You could’ve said no and then I would’ve had an excuse. Damn you for being a good boyfriend.”

Devin shrugged. “My bad.”

Carla looked over his shoulder and saw David and Kaley walking up the sidewalk toward them. A few paces behind them, almost as if they weren’t going to the same place, were Caesar, Ron, Emma and Francesca.

“What’s up, D?” David held out his hand to Devin for some dap.

“Devin,” Devin said, reluctantly slapping his hand.

“Alright, D.”

The other four stopped next to them.

“What an odd group we are,” Ron said, looking at Caesar and nodding toward the others.

“Let’s just eat,” Caesar said.

“Oh, we’re all together?” David asked. “Guess we’re the odd ones out since we don’t know all of y’all huh?”

“Guess so.”

Devin opened the door to the restaurant. “Y’all want to get out the cold?”

Kaley hung back and grabbed Caesar’s arm as the rest of the group filed into the restaurant.

“I couldn’t just ditch him, okay? You just have to get through like an hour meal and then we can disappear somewhere,” she said.

“I know. That’s why I brought Emma. I’ve played the game before, Kaley. He looks like he fucked his cousin when he was 12, by the way.”

Kaley smacked his arm. “None of that. Just get through the hour.”

“We better get in there.”

By the time the two of them got into the restaurant, the others were already being led to a table toward the middle of the restaurant.

Emma gave Caesar a questioning look as he sat down next to her, Kaley across from him. Caesar looked at her and shrugged before picking up the menu that had been placed in front of him.

“Can I start y’all with some drinks?” the waiter asked.

“I’ll have a coke,” David said. He nodded toward Kaley. “She’ll have water.”

Caesar looked up from the menu, absently mumbling water to the waiter as he took the others’ order as well. Once the waiter had walked away, Caesar looked around the table.

“Hey, what year is this?” he asked.

“2050?” Francesca answered, confused.

He nodded. “Alright, just making sure I hadn’t stepped into a time machine bound for 1920 where women can’t speak for themselves. Carry on.”

Kaley narrowed her eyes at him. Down at the other end of the table, Carla resisted the urge to agree with Caesar of all people.

Ron scanned over the menu before leaning over to Francesca. “You know I told you that I wasn’t paying for your food, but these prices are kinda low so I think I can manage.”

“You were going to ‘manage’ whether it was cheap or expensive,” she said. “That’s the only reason you got me out of the house when it’s cold as fuck outside.”

“Preach,” Emma said.

Caesar scoffed, one hand over the folded menu in front of him and the other under his chin. He stared at Kaley, but outside of a few stolen glances she seemed bent one avoiding eye contact with him.

David sat back, his hand waving around when he spoke. “So, Devin, you know these four, right? That’s what Kaley told me.”

Devin glanced at Carla, who gave him the briefest of nods. “Yeah, we go to school and play football together.”

“I wouldn’t call what you do on the field ‘playing,’ King. More like running around like a headless chicken and getting lucky you don’t get run over every play,” Caesar said.

“Didn’t you drop the game winning pass at Slidell?”

Ron held up his hands. “Ladies, ladies. Please, the season’s over. Can we not call a truce for one night so I can enjoy this cheap ass food? I swear on all that is holy that I’ll cut the both of you if you ruin this $6 steak I’m about to order.”

Caesar shrugged. “I was just pointing something out to the motherfucker, bro.”

The waiter came back to the table. “Y’all ready to order?” When everyone shook their head ‘no,’ he looked at the drinks and turned to Kaley. “Need a refill on that water?”

“Nah, she’s good,” David said, answering for her again. The waiter raised an eyebrow but walked away all the same.

“What the fuck is your problem, bitch? I’m sure she could’ve said that herself,” Caesar snapped.

Emma jabbed Caesar with her elbow. “Mind your business, bae,” she said under her breath.

“I don’t know who you think you’re talking to,” David said.

Caesar looked to his left and then to his right then at David. “I’m talking to you, you feckless cunt. You,” he said, pointing across the table. “You, bitch. I’m talking to you.”

“Caesar,” Kaley said. “It’s fine.”

“Y’all ever had the breadsticks here?” Ron asked, ignoring what was going on next to him, Devin and Carla. “They sound good, but there’s no way they’re giving you a dozen fresh breadsticks for four-fifty, right?”

Devin shrugged. “Never been here.”

“Well, shit.”

Carla didn’t answer, her eyes on the argument at the other end of the table.

“You better watch your mouth,” David said. “I don’t know you, but the day I can’t whoop a man’s ass is the day I don’t get out of bed.”

Caesar pushed away from the table. “Who you think you talking tough to? You don’t know me, man.”

Emma and Kaley both reached for his arms to coax him back down. They both pulled away when they noticed the other had done the same thing. The two girls exchanged glances, but didn’t say anything. Kaley looked around the table hoping no one had noticed other than Emma.

“Hey! Y’all cut that shit out. We’re trying to be civilized tonight,” Ron said. He reached over Emma and swatted at Caesar. “Sit the fuck down, man. You started the shit. Just let it go.”

After a pregnant pause, Caesar sat back down.

“You boys who waste y’all time playing football really need to work out some of those anger issues,” David laughed at his own joke.

Francesca leaned over to Ron. “What’s that all about?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you later.” He looked at Caesar before adding. “If we don’t all end up in jail tonight.”

“I told you this was a terrible idea,” Carla said to Devin in hushed tones. “Even what’s his name thinks it’s a bad idea.”

“We wouldn’t be here if you didn’t agree to come. You know that, right?” Devin asked. “We could’ve been at home minding our own damn business and letting them come have this fun without us.”

Emma poked Caesar’s arm. “Stop fucking staring.”

“Shut the fuck up,” he snapped.

“Devin, your friend over here has an attitude problem, huh?” David asked, chuckling.

“He’s no--” Devin was cut off when Carla kicked his leg under the table. He choked out a laugh. “Yeah, man, just a little bit.”

Ron looked at David, tsk’d and shook his head, then looked back down at the menu.

The waiter came back to the table, notepad in hand. “Y’all ready now?” Hearing no objections, he looked at Caesar first. “What can I get you, my man?”

“I’m good. Just bring me another water,” Caesar said.

“Alright. And for you?” he asked Emma. She reeled off her order. He turned to Kaley. “What about you?”

“She’ll have a salad. No dres--”

Before David could finish ordering for Kaley, Caesar jumped over the table and tackled him to the floor. A chorus of gasps and screams filled the restaurant as the two of them rolled a couple times on the floor. Eventually, Caesar got on top of David and threw a few punches that landed flush on his jaw.

The waitstaff and a few of the cooks out of the back rushed over to break them up. Caesar clocked the first cook who grabbed his arm, sending the guy tumbling back. This prompted all of them to pile on top of him.

Kaley put her head in her hands, tears in her eyes as the fight was finally broken up.

Emma crossed her arms over her chest, staring at Kaley.

Devin acted like he wasn’t with them.

Carla dragged her hand through her hair, the stress of the night getting to her.

Francesca had pulled out her phone and was videoing the entire thing.

Ron stood up and waved at their waiter. “Hey, man. How these breadsticks hitting?”
User avatar

Captain Canada
Posts: 890
Joined: 01 Dec 2018, 05:15

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Captain Canada » 09 Jan 2020, 17:48

Boom goes the dynamite.
User avatar

Posts: 2451
Joined: 27 Nov 2018, 18:42

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by djp73 » 09 Jan 2020, 19:51

people still knocking doors in 2050?
User avatar

Topic author
Posts: 1588
Joined: 27 Nov 2018, 15:47

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Caesar » 09 Jan 2020, 20:16

djp73 wrote:
09 Jan 2020, 19:51
people still knocking doors in 2050?
That's only 30 years from now. Damn near everyone got Ring doorbells now and folks still knock on doors. :shrug:
User avatar

Posts: 2451
Joined: 27 Nov 2018, 18:42

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by djp73 » 09 Jan 2020, 20:19

was hoping to see caesar put in his place by the roughneck
User avatar

Posts: 2451
Joined: 27 Nov 2018, 18:42

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by djp73 » 09 Jan 2020, 20:19

also I'm with Ron on the breadsticks
User avatar

Topic author
Posts: 1588
Joined: 27 Nov 2018, 15:47

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Caesar » 09 Jan 2020, 22:23

Error in Judgement

Caesar stood in his driveway, his back against his car. Dried blood streaked from the corner of his lip down his chin. He wasn’t sure if it was David that had caught him with a lucky punch or the wait staff when they piled on top of him.

His wrists stung from a cop putting them on too tight before he was eventually let go – with a banning from the restaurant. And Emma stood in front of him, her arms wrapped around herself and tears down her cheeks. All because he’d overestimated his ability to sit across from Kaley’s boyfriend.

“Why? Just why?” Emma asked.

“Why what?”

“Why can’t we be like normal couples? While you were getting yourself arrested for whatever the fuck that was, Francesca told me that you’ve fucked that other girl that was there, too. Do you know how stupid that makes me feel?”

Caesar’s lip curled up. “I fucked Francesca, too. So what? I don’t care how it makes you feel, Emma. I’m not begging you to stay with me. You fuck other guys. You’ve fucked my best friend at least five times that I know of. C’mon. You’re honestly upset right now? About this shit?”

“Yes, I’m upset! You just told me you don’t care how being made to look stupid makes me feel, but you just fought some random fucking guy for some random fucking bitch--”

“Watch your fucking mouth.”

“See?! Like who is this girl?”

He shook his head and stood up off his car. “It’s really none of your fucking business. If you want to leave, Emma, leave. I’m not going to stop you. You don’t want to talk to me anymore, fine. I’ll survive and so will you. Now, go home. I’m tired of this conversation.”

“Just like that, huh?”

“Just like that.”

Emma scoffed. “Fuck you, Caesar. Burn in fucking hell.”

Caesar stamped his foot on the pavement.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Stomping my feet so the Devil can hear and be waiting for me when I get there, cunt. Now, fuck off.”


Devin poured himself a glass of water then thought better of it. Walking into the living room, he handed the glass to Carla. She took it from him and put it on the coffee table.

“You know you’re going to have to go talk to her, right?” he asked.

Carla sucked her teeth. “No, I don’t. This isn’t any of my business. I was enjoying my Christmas break just fine without all the shit. And I didn’t ask for any of it. Caesar Jenkins? Really? I don’t like David any more than anyone else, but Caesar fucking Jenkins? It’s all so fucking stupid. She’s fucking stupid.”

“Sounds like more reason you need to go talk to her. I’m sure she would do it for you.”

“Obviously not. The only reason Kaley knows who Caesar is is because I told her that he cheated on me. So, what’d she do? Run to social media, find him, send a few naked pictures and fuck him behind her boyfriend’s back?”

Devin shrugged. “I can’t answer any of that. I’m just saying that I’m sure she has her side of the story and that you should go get it from her because David wasn’t letting her get a word in when we all left and she came back here alone.”

She picked up the glass, but put it back down immediately. “You know what’s the dumbest thing about all of this? I didn’t even ask her why she was being so shady. I just assumed that because it was her, she was off trying to find David an anniversary present or some shit. Something she would do.”

Devin started to respond, but the door to the guest room opened and Kaley walked down the hallway, with her bag on her shoulder.

“Sorry, Carla. I’m going to head back home now,” she said.

“Fine,” Carla snapped.

“Carla,” Devin said, through his teeth.

She sighed and stood up. “Fine! What the fuck was all of that, Kaley?! Why didn’t you tell me that the reason that you came here was so you could sneak off and fuck Caesar behind David’s back? You know you could’ve done that when he was offshore. You probably SHOULD’VE!”

“We’ve never fucked. It’s... complicated,” Kaley said, wiping tears from her eyes.

“Oh, sure. I can totally believe that Caesar fucking Jenkins is fighting some guy over some girl he’s never stuck his dick in. I can’t believe of all the people, it’d be you. I can’t believe you’d go after him. Where did you even meet him?”

“Galveston, for that hurricane.”

“And you know who he was?”


“And you still did it.”

Kaley ran her hand through her hair. “What do you want me to say, Carla? I know I fucked up. That’s why I’m leaving to fix everything. Why does it even matter to you anymore? You’ve got Devin. He seems like a nice guy.”

“Because you should hate him like I do.”

“I’m sorry. I’m going to go now.”


Kaley gave her cousin one last look before she turned and headed out of the house. Devin waited until he heard the door close before saying anything.

“That went... well,” he said, a bit of sarcasm in his voice.

“I just can’t deal with this night anymore. Are you staying here tonight or going home?”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Come on, then. Let’s go to bed.”


Kaley’s car pulled to a stop at the end of Caesar’s driveway. He still stood against his car as he’d been for the last forty or so minutes since Emma had torn out of there. His face had stopped hurting, but now he was feeling a headache coming on.

Or maybe he just needed to see if he had anything mind-altering in his car.

Kaley got out of her car and walked over to him, her feet barely leaving the ground as if she was carrying a boulder on her shoulders. She kept her eyes on the ground until she was right in front of him. She didn’t look up.

“I just came to tell you that I’m sorry and I’m heading back home tonight. You won’t hear from me again,” she said, her voice quiet.


That made her look up. “No? It’s not really your choice. I shouldn’t have come here. I almost – probably did – ruin my relationship. We shouldn’t have done this. I just got caught up. It was something different and I was too quick to jump on it.”

“No,” Caesar repeated.

“Is that all you’re going to say?”

He shrugged. “I’m not going to apologize for what I did. I don’t know why I did what I did, but I felt that’s what needed to be done at the moment. He shouldn’t treat you like that. You shouldn’t let him treat you like that.”

“You barely know me, Caesar. You don’t know how I should be treated. If anything, this whole thing shows that I’m not that great of a person and that I should probably get some shit for being a bitch.” She rubbed at her eyes. “Look, I’m going to leave. Delete my number or don’t, it’s up to you. But I’m not going to respond. I need to fix this.”

She turned to leave, but Caesar grabbed her arm and stopped her.

“Hold on. Just a second, please,” he said. He walked to the driver side door of his car. Reaching in through the open window, he grabbed an envelope out of the center console. Walking back over, he held it out to her.

She took it. Looking at the front of it, she ran her finger over the emblem emblazoned on it. “What’s this?”

“You told me in Galveston that you wanted to go to Tulane. A couple weeks ago, they sent a recruiter down here. A booster, too. Old guy who lives in the Garden District in New Orleans.”

“I don’t get it. What’s that have to do with me?”

“That’s an acceptance letter to pre-college courses in the summer. All this shit, this recruiting shit? It’s just another game of what you can get out of these motherfuckers who want to get their use out of you for three years,” he took the envelope from her and opened it. Pulling the letter out, he held it up to her. “This is your acceptance letter to their pre-college courses. You just need to fill out the application and they’ll grease the wheels to make it fit. Probably got a good chance of getting into their undergrad if you already have credit there.”

“I can’t do that. It’s dishonest.”

“Bullshit. You have the grades. You just hold yourself back. Besides, you don’t think these other rich motherfuckers out here do the same type of shit? Calling their friends to get their sons and daughters in early and over other people? This is what you want. Take it.”

She took the letter from him. “But I thought you were going to Oklahoma State?”

“I am. I haven’t committed yet. Haven’t signed officially. I told them they were in my top 3. Real strong possibility. This was the trade.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

He sighed. “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to give that to you before you left. It was nice knowing you, Kaley.”

Kaley nodded and turned around, but she sighed and faced Caesar again. “I don’t know what to do,”

“But David’s waiting for his friend to pick him up and I don’t want him to get to Slidell before I do because I don’t like going to sleep angry.”

“Then leave.”

“I don’t know, though!”

“Stay. Please. He’s already angry. Figure that out tomorrow. Stay with me tonight.”

She looked up the driveway for the first time at the massive house that seemed to loom over them. She counted the half a dozen cars in the driveway. “Your parents won’t be mad?”

“My parents aren’t home. Rarely are.” He held his hand out to her. “Please?”

She nodded and put her hand in his. “Okay.”
User avatar

Captain Canada
Posts: 890
Joined: 01 Dec 2018, 05:15

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Captain Canada » 09 Jan 2020, 23:00

Here comes the sex scene.
User avatar

Posts: 2451
Joined: 27 Nov 2018, 18:42

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by djp73 » 10 Jan 2020, 02:32

Caesar caught up or just trying to get some new
User avatar

Topic author
Posts: 1588
Joined: 27 Nov 2018, 15:47

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Caesar » 13 Jan 2020, 00:54

That Doesn’t Come Easy

Devin jolted awake, the mid-morning sunlight streaming in through the window. He sat up and put his hand over his eyes to shield them from the light as he swung his feet to the opposite side of his bed. A pamphlet lay on top of his cellphone on the nightstand, his mother’s handwriting in permanent marker on it.

He snatched it up. It was a list of chores: clean his room, clean the kitchen and bathrooms, mow the grass, join his parents for New Year’s Eve church service. He threw it back on the nightstand and rubbed sleep from his eyes.

Notifications lit up on his phone when he swiped his finger on it. Likely more complaining from Carla about her cousin’s refusal to answer any of her calls in the last week, and Kaley’s apparent refusal to also answer calls from her boyfriend. Neither of them knew where she was. Devin didn’t feel that it was any of his business.

He answered the string of rambling texts with reassurances that Carla wasn’t being the problematic one in the situation anyway. He just hoped she would calm down by the time he swung around her place to bring in the new year.

Standing up, he headed to the kitchen in hopes that there was something to eat in there before he got started on the list.

But first he stopped and ripped the bottom off the pamphlet. Salvation be damned, he wasn’t going to waste his New Year’s Eve at anyone’s church service.

Devin shut off the weed whacker and wiped his forehead with the sleeve of the hoodie he wore. Despite the chill of the last day of the year hanging in the air, the sun beating on his skin had caused him to work up quite the sweat.

He laid the weed whacker against the wall and snatched up the water bottle off the ground, sighing when he noticed there was only a few more sips of water in it. He could already hear his parents’ complaints if he went inside for another instead of refilling the one in his hand with water from the tap.

As he was reaching for the weed whacker to finish up, a pickup truck pulled to a stop on the side of the yard. A man jumped down from the driver’s side, looking at his phone and then Devin’s mailbox before noticing Devin watching him.

“Can I help you?” Devin asked.

“You’re Devin King, right?” the man asked.

“Which one?”


“Which Devin King are you looking for?”

The man stopped and scratched his chin. “I guess that’s a valid question. I’m looking for you assuming you don’t have a twin somewhere that plays football for Terrebonne.”

Devin wiped more sweat from his forehead. “Nope, that’s me.”

“Oh, good. I’ve come here like seven times in the past few days and you’re never here. I can’t say I remember being that out and about when I was your age, but I grew up in Odessa and even Houma makes Odessa look tiny.”

“I’m not talking to recruiters today. Come back in a few days.” He held up the weed whacker. “I have chores to do.”

“I’m not a recruiter. I’m the new coach of the team over at Terrebonne. I wanted to meet a few of the guys who are going to be seniors before the semester started. Get a feel for what I got to work with. See who the leaders are and what not. Name’s Pierce McCoy.” Coach McCoy held out his hand which Devin shook.

“Can’t say that I much of a rah-rah guy, uh, coach. If you’re looking for someone who’s going to talk a lot, Jenkins lives in that direction,” Devin said, pointing in a general area. “Just look for the biggest house. It probably has a sign outside of it or something.”

“Between the two of us, that boy is something that I have no problem waiting until spring camp to try to deal with,” the coach said, laughing. “Let me level with you, Devin. You went from an unknown to the number 298 recruit in this class in one season. From walk-on offers from Nicholls State to LSU sniffing around. All in one year. That doesn’t come easy. Do you know who we’re going to have at quarterback?”

“Freddie? The JV kid?”

“Transferred from what I heard. It doesn’t even matter. They’re coming in after Ron DeRossi. A guy who is All-State and heading to TCU. Forgot big shoes to fill. They ain’t even in the same store. I need them to see that it’s possible to come in as nothing and be All-State by the end of camp. I need them to see you.”

“I still don’t get what you want from me.”

McCoy laughed. “Just make sure you have your ass out there for spring camp and don’t go changing into ‘Primetime’ on me. I’ll let you get back to your weed whacking. Hope that’s not how you’re ringing in the new year, though.”

“No, just finishing up.”

McCoy nodded and headed back to his truck. He stopped and turned around. “You know where to get fresh shrimp around here? The wife’s been craving shrimp but wants to cook it herself.”

“Shrimpers’ Row, probably,” Devin said, shrugging.

“That a place I can GPS?”

“Don’t know. I used to go down there with my ex-girlfriend’s dad. Just get on Grand Caillou and keep driving down the bayou. You’ll know when you get there.”

“Grand Caillou, keep driving down the bayou. Hope I don’t need a boat. See you in weights, Devin.”

Devin watched as Coach McCoy pulled away. He reached for the water bottle and brought it up to his lips. When nothing came out, he sighed and tossed it back to the ground before revving the weed whacker up and started to wrap up the yard work.

“Caesar, I’m not going to meet your mother!” Kaley said through clenched teeth.

“What do you plan to do? Go hide upstairs? Better run now.”

“If I run, she’s going to hear me.”

The front door opened, and Caesar shrugged. “Too late, now. Should’ve ran while you still had a chance.”

Candice Jenkins walked into the kitchen, wearing one of her usual outfits that probably cost someone’s yearly salary. She set two packages on the counter between Kaley and Caesar and looked at her son. Then, she looked at Kaley behind thousand-dollar sunglasses.

“Ma, this is Kaley. Kaley, my mother,” Caesar said, turning the packages so he could read the label.

Candice slapped her son’s hand and shooed him away before taking off the sunglasses. She smiled at Kaley. “I like you already.”

“Huh?” Kaley said, confused.

“The other ones I’ve met. He never tells me their names. Except for that one from a few years ago.” Candice picked up the boxes and walked around the counter. She grabbed a knife out of a drawer and set to opening the packages. “But she was crazy anyway, and I can tell you’re not with him to try to get knocked up.”

“We’re not dating, ma,” Caesar said.

“No one’s talking to you, honey,” his mother said. “You just stand there and be quiet.”

Kaley held back a laugh and shrugged when Caesar shot her a dirty look.

The woman pulled a colorful wig and costume out of one of the packages. She nodded. “This is perfect.”

“Why do you have a clown suit?” Caesar asked.

“To send to your uncle because he’s a fucking clown. I also got him a dildo so he can go fuck himself or have his wife fuck him. Whatever he wants,” Candice said before putting it back in the box. She turned around and looked at Kaley. “Honey, woman-to-woman advice, always put men in their place when you have a chance. They are only good for their dicks anyway and you can buy that.”

“Ma,” Caesar said, sighing.

“What? I’m just saying.”

Kaley laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind, Mrs. Jenkins.”

The woman held up a finger as if something had just dawned on her. “Kaley, you should come with us to New Orleans for this New Year’s thing. It’s just a bunch of stuffy old people, but there’s free alcohol and I’ll look the other way on that.”

“Oh no, I couldn’t.”

“Yes, you could,” Caesar said.

“I don’t have any clothes here. I really couldn’t,” Kaley said, holding her hands up. “Thanks for the offer th—”

She was cut off when Candice grabbed her wrist and pulled her to her feet. “If clothes are the problem then we can solve that. And we’ll get something done to your hair. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but it’s my treat.”

Kaley looked back at Caesar for help as she was practically dragged out of the kitchen by Mrs. Jenkins. Caesar only shrugged and chuckled.

Caesar shook the hand of an older man with a much younger wife draped on his arm. “I definitely will, Mr. Fontenot. Thanks to the heads up.”

Kaley waited until they’d walked off and leaned over to Caesar, being careful to keep the wine flute in her hand upright for fear of spilling it on the expensive dress she was wearing. “You’re quite popular with all these rich people for a teenager. I don’t know how you keep all their names straight.”

“I’m an upsized meal ticket. Rich parents, and probably going to be rich on my own. They all want me to date their daughters. That’s why they’ve been giving you dirty looks,” he laughed.

“I thought it was because they knew I was middle class trash.”

He shook his head and wrapped his arm around her waist, pointing into the crowd. “I remember them by their wives, or lack thereof.” He pointed to a balding man with round glasses and an auburn-haired woman nearby. “That’s Mr. Hebert. That’s the third Mrs. Hebert. He has a thing for redheads. His daughter’s pre-med at UL.” He pointed to another couple. “That one is Mr. Izaguirre. He likes fat blondes. Last we spoke, his daughter was headed to Houston. Petro-tech or something. And over there is Mr. Hebert. He has two daughters and probably as many wives. Concert pianists or some shit.”

“Sounds like they are trying to get their little princesses into a power couple.”

“I hope it didn’t take long for you to figure that one out.” He looked down at her. “But I think I’d rather have a world-renowned lawyer making me an honest man.”

Kaley sighed. “You know, this is all temporary right? I’m going to go back to Slidell and beg David to take me back. You’re going to go back to fucking every girl you come across until you graduate and go to some college—”

“Oklahoma State.”

“Until you go to Oklahoma State and continue to fuck every girl you come across. This is just a fairytale that’s going to end, literally, when the clock hits midnight.”

“Why? OK State has a pre-law program just like Tulane. My mom’s already out here getting manis and pedis with you. That doesn’t come easy. A few more months and she’d kill a bitch to get you in there.”

“Why can’t you go to Tulane?” She only gave Caesar a few seconds to answer before continuing when he didn’t say anything. “Exactly. It just doesn’t work.”

He walked around her and crouched down so their faces were level. “I don’t know what in the last week have told you I’m just going to give up. You want to do the long-distance thing? Let’s do that. You want to just be on and off every six months? Done. I’ll be the fucking side man. We have a private fucking jet. I’ll fly you from New Orleans to Stillwater every weekend. Don’t test me.”

“Y’all really have a private jet? Like just for y’all? Jesus Christ, y’all are really really rich.”

“That’s all you got out of that?”

“No, I just wanted to make sure that I heard that part right.”

“Kaley. Get off the fucking jet.”

“I actually want to get on the fucking jet.”

Caesar ran his hand over his face. “Look, I want this okay. You tell me what I need to do to make it happen.”

She smiled. “We’ll play it by ear.” She nodded over his shoulder. “Besides, it looks like another old guy is heading this way to try to pawn his daughter off on you.”
User avatar

Posts: 2451
Joined: 27 Nov 2018, 18:42

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by djp73 » 13 Jan 2020, 01:06

Weed whacking on 12/31? Can't relate
User avatar

Posts: 2451
Joined: 27 Nov 2018, 18:42

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by djp73 » 13 Jan 2020, 01:14

All them Heberts
User avatar

Topic author
Posts: 1588
Joined: 27 Nov 2018, 15:47

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Caesar » 14 Jan 2020, 22:21

New Year, Same Me

“No, no. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I’ve got to be talking to a pod person who took over your body over the Christmas break! Tell me, Caesar if that is your name, when were you born?”

Caesar dropped his fork onto the table and rubbed his forehead. “Ron, it’s 7 in the fucking morning and I’m sitting here eating this disgusting ass breakfast burrito thing. You asked. I told you. That’s what happened. I don’t know what else to tell you. I gave her the keys on this. Like I just said.”

“Anthony, Bentley. Do y’all believe what he just said?” Ron asked the others. They both shook their head as Anthony struggled to not fall asleep in the tray in front of him and Bentley scrolled through his phone. “See? Three people at this table don’t believe that Kaley, uh, what’s her last name again? Nevermind that, that Kaley stayed at your house for a fucking week and you didn’t fuck her again!

“Why are you even here? TCU doesn’t have an issue with their top recruit not enrolling early?”

Ron shrugged. “They already sent me the playbook. I want to take the ACT a couple more times and see if I can test out of some courses so I can graduate early. It’d be nice to be cruising by junior year with a degree in hand.”

“Couldn’t you have done the same thing if you enrolled early?” Bentley asked.

“Well, yeah, but--”

“He just wants to keep fucking high school pussy because he’s afraid he won’t get any in Fort Worth. The only Power 5 starting QB to not get pussy in the history of pussy or Power 5 starting QBs,” Caesar said, picking up the plastic fork again and starting to pick at the burrito once more.

“As long as I don’t have willing women sleeping at my place and not even getting some head then I’ll be fine. Especially if it’s an extremely hot piece of ass.”

“Why are you even here again?”

“I don’t know. I guess I could probably skip and head up to Slidell. It seems Kaley ain’t getting none from you and you probably ruined her relationship so she needs some dick.” Ron scratched his chin, miming as if he was pondering one of life’s important questions.

Caesar sat back. “You ever seen a man get killed with a plastic fork?”

“Who’s killing who?” Anthony asked, his voice groggy.

“That’s fratricide, bro. Cain and Abel almost,” Ron said.

“I’ll take that charge.” Caesar went back to trying to find the more edible parts of the breakfast burrito. “It should be illegal to serve this shit to children. So, Ron, what’s the real reason that you didn’t enroll at TCU early? Knocked that Congressman’s daughter up and trying to get her to take a hanger to it?”

“How barbaric. Mifepristone and misoprostol, man. A fucking hanger. Trump didn’t pack the courts back in the day for rich people to resort to such things again. But no, I’ve only seen her once since that one time. Honestly? I just want to take it easy for a few months.”

Bentley nodded. “That’s a smart move.”

“Until he’s behind on the depth chart, gets redshirted, has to transfer to UTSA or some shit, all because he wanted to take it easy for a few months,” Caesar said.

Anthony pointed at Caesar and mumbled “Valid point.”

“I’m going to start. Not even on some ‘that’s what the coach told me’ shit. Starter’s going pro. Backup is graduating. Two rising sophomores in the QB room who haven’t played a snap. Another guy coming in with me. I’m going to start.”

“Start the line of motherfuckers holding up playcards, you mean. ‘Hey, is that Ron with the Tekashi 6ix9ine card up? That must be the call to flip the play! They’ll never get that pop culture reference from 30 years ago!’” Caesar said.

“You just worry about Oklahoma State not changing their mind on your bum ass before you commit.” Ron looked around the cafeteria and then back at his friends at the table. “But I’m expecting parties every weekend until May. If I’m going to be here, I might as well go ahead and get acquainted with some of the ladies here that I haven’t met yet.”

“That’s what we’re calling rebounds now?” Anthony asked.

Caesar turned to Ron and laughed. “What could you have possibly done to Francesca to get her to break up with you? You tried to fuck her in the ass, didn’t you?”

“Nah, it was a mutual split. She told me she was seeing some guy we went to Vandebilt with behind my back. Adam Fazzio?” Ron shrugged. “I don’t know him. He’s going to Tech so I guess she’s trying to bring some sand to the beach. I told her about Marie, Sadie, Michelle, Piper, and that one girl we met? With the twin?”

“She didn’t have a twin.”

“Are you sure? I remember her blowing you then I fucked her twin.”

Caesar shook his head. “Ron, she didn’t have a twin. I told you not to drink that absinthe shit.”

“Hm. Strange. Anyway, parties, every week.”

“My grades are already tanking. I don’t know if I’m going to commit to every week. I might have to do some actual studying this semester,” Bentley said.

“If you’d stop trying to be high all the time, you could talk one of these girls here into doing the shit for you, dumbass,” Anthony said.

“Says the guy that always gets high with him,” Ron said.

“But I’m not complaining about my grades because I have girls willing to do my homework for me if I’m too high to do that shit.”

Caesar shoved the tray with the breakfast burrito away and sighed. “Ron, you know that you live in a big ass house and can throw as many parties as you want right?”

“Why do that when you parents are never home?” Ron asked.

“And yours are?”


Caesar glanced up and spotted Scarlett and her two bosom buddies walking into the café. He snatched up the tray and stood up. “Y’all figure that out. I got some business to handle.”

“Now, he wants to move fast,” Ron said, shaking his head.


Devin coughed as he walked through the mist of entirely too much body spray for the beginning of a P.E. class. It was one of those age-old traditions of high school boys that he was glad he never got roped into. Yet, he still suffered.

He barely had time to catch the basketball Hasan had thrown at him when he stepped onto the court of the Field House. Devin threw it back as he scratched at the itchy material of his gym shirt.

“I don’t get why we can’t just be in weights all year. This little gap ain’t nothin’ but some bullshit,” Hasan said as he shot the ball toward the rim. It clanged off the front of the rim and came back at him. He glanced at Devin. “Don’t say shit ‘bout my jumper.”

“You have to jump for it to be a jumper. What would you do with the people who decide to quit the team or not go out for spring camp if we were in weights the entire spring?”

“Fuck them. I’m wastin’ good time I could be bulkin’ up ‘cause I’m up in here shootin’ a damn basketball.” Hasan took another shot and it also missed. He jogged over to collect the rebound and went for a layup but it banged off the bottom of the rim and nearly took him out.

Coach McCoy walked out of his office and tossed two other basketballs to other students in the class. He shook his head as he watched Hasan. “Sweet baby Jesus, please lay your hand upon this child’s head and let him know that he ain’t got no business playing basketball.”

“I’m just warmin’ up, coach,” Hasan said, bricking another shot.

“I’m afraid to see what your shot looks like when you’re warmed up.” the coach turned to Devin. “You know how those conservative types tell athletes to ‘shut up and dribble’ when they make political statements, like they’ve been doing for the last hundred years?”

“I don’t follow politics, coach,” Devin said.

“You don’t have to. My point is, I bet they’d rather Hasan keep talking if they seen how he dribbles.”

“That’s messed up,” Hasan said.

“Just calling it how I see it.”

A student that towered over the teacher escorting him into the building stopped in front of Coach McCoy. Coach exchanged some words with the teacher and the student was left behind.

“My God, son. You are one tall mo--…" McCoy caught himself before he cursed. “You’re one tall son of a gun. What’s your name?”

“Jurgen Jones.” His voice didn’t quite fit his body, the German accent didn’t quite fit the last name and the first name didn’t quite fit what you saw.

“How tall are you, son?”

“195 centimeters.”

Coach McCoy looked at Devin and Hasan, but they only shrugged. “Boy, I’m a football coach. I can tell you anything about reading a defense, but I don’t know a damn thing about centimeters. In American measurements?”

Jurgen tapped his fingers for a moment. “I’m not sure. Maybe 6’5”?”

“You play football?”

“American football?”

“Yes, that one.”

He shook his head. “No, just the other football.”

“What position?”


“Hm, so you’re good with your hands. Alright, go ahead and get dressed out. You’ll have to go over to the girls’ gym to get a shirt and some shorts because it’d make too much sense to keep that in the bigger building.”

“I don’t know where that is.”

“I’ll show you. Go and wait for me in the locker room. We’ll take the back way. It’s faster.” Coach McCoy steered him in the right direction toward the locker room. He waited a bit and turned to Devin and Hasan. “I need you two to convince that boy to play football for us.”

Hasan raised an eyebrow. “I know people make the jump from basketball to football, but soccer to football? You tryin’ to make him a kicker, coach?”

“Hell no, son. I want him at receiver. That boy is about eighty strudels too light to be a tight end, but him and Caesar out wide? I could put you at quarterback and you should be able to hit one of two 6’5” targets.”

“Is that a short joke?”

McCoy waved his hand and shook his head. “Nevermind that. Just find some way to convince that big ass German that he should play football for us. Devin, you got that, right?”

“I’ll try.” Devin shrugged.

“Don’t try, son. Make it happen.” The coach jogged toward the locker room calling Jurgen’s name, probably fearing that the other half of his dream wide receiver pairing had disappeared into thin air.

Hasan started dribbling the ball, crossing it through his legs. “You know, I could probably play quarterback if I really tried. It’s a lot of dudes out here that ain’t 6’2” under center.”

“Are you even 5’2”?” Devin asked.

“Look, just get me on the outside and I’ll slang that bitch. Nigga don’t need no offensive linemen to look over if I can’t be touched in the backfield.”

“Alright, man. I’m sure McCoy would love to have a quarterback that has to rollout every play. You’ll be getting smashed with corner cats every other down.”

“Hatin’ ass niggas. Boy, I tell you.” Hasan stepped up and took another shot, which also clanged off the rim.

Devin jogged up and snatched the ball from him before taking a jumper over his own. It banked off the backboard and swirled around the rim twice before dropping through the net. He raised his arms aloft as if he’d just hit the game winning shot in the deciding game of the NBA Finals.

“Motherfucker hits one shot and thinks he’s Bronny.”

“Nah, I think I’d drop that nickname when I became a grown ass man. More of a Shane Bishop shooter.”

“Trash.” Hasan jogged over and picked up the ball. He tossed it at Devin. “First to 11.”

“If you want to get embarrassed in front of all these people, suit yourself.” Devin stepped back and shot a three that banged off the backboard, but he was already running behind it and laid it back in.
Last edited by Caesar on 15 Jan 2020, 00:16, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar

Posts: 2451
Joined: 27 Nov 2018, 18:42

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by djp73 » 15 Jan 2020, 00:13

Vanderbilt or Vandebilt ??
User avatar

Topic author
Posts: 1588
Joined: 27 Nov 2018, 15:47

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Caesar » 17 Jan 2020, 22:13

Here Comes the Taxman

The first few weeks of the spring semester of his junior year had passed in a blur. Without football to keep him occupied, Caesar found himself getting bored more often than not. And there was only so much extra training someone could do before they risked fucking something up. Even taskmaster Deion Jenkins knew that.

The problem was that bored Caesar was synonymous with horny Caesar.

“I just don’t understand what’s the problem. I don’t think that she’s that much prettier than me and she doesn’t seem that nice. And that friend of hers is a bitch. I just don’t see how all of that fits together to even be remotely attractive. Don’t you think?”

Caesar picked his shirt up off the floor and tugged it over his head. “I don’t know and I really, really, really don’t fucking care, Scarlett. If you were that bitch ass motherfucker, would you take you back if you knew that you’d been getting fucked by me?”

“Well, no, but we’ve only had sex three times. That’s not a lot... is it?” Scarlett asked.

“It’s a lot more than zero. You need me to walk you out or you think you can manage it?”

“You know I’m not going to walk through your house alone. What if your parents are downstairs? Do you know what they’d think of me?”

He sighed and stood up. “Not any more or less than they think of any other girl that they see in here with me, I’m sure. Let’s go.”

The two of them made the trek from Caesar’s room to the front door downstairs; Scarlett trying to keep Caesar in front of her to block any direction someone could see her from.

It was all for naught.

Caesar’s mother passed by at the bottom of the stairs and glanced up at the two of them.

“When you walk your friend out, Caesar, your father has something that he wants to tell us,” she said. She stopped before walking toward the living room and stepped back. She sighed. “I would tell you to go put on something else because your grandparents are here but we’ve already waited long enough.”

Caesar looked back at Scarlett who blushed and all but ran out of the door, pausing only briefly to close it without it slamming behind her. Caesar looked down at his attire of an old Vandebilt weights shirt and a pair of basketball shorts, shrugged and walked into the living room where his family were waiting.

His mother and his grandmother sat next to one another on one side of the room. Grandpa Marcus sat with his feet cocked up on the coffee table, probably the only person who could get away with that. His father stood next to the, now-repaired, window.

“Alright, I’m here. What’s up?” Caesar asked.

“You’re going to knock one of those little fast ass white girls up if you don’t watch yourself,” his grandfather said, wagging an admonishing finger at Caesar.

He scratched the side of his face. “Grandpa, I wouldn’t be here if you would’ve been watching yourself.”

Marcus Jenkins looked at his wife of many decades who only shook her head at the man’s comment. “Hm. I guess you’re right about that. That doesn’t mean you have go do what your daddy and I did. Save yourself for marriage, boy. It’s good for your kidneys.”

“My kidneys?”

“Don’t listen to that crazy old man,” Cassie, his grandmother, said. “I’m already thinking about donating his brain to science when he dies because there isn’t any way that he doesn’t have CTE or something.”

“I think the same thing about Deion,” Candice added.

Deion looked up from his phone before stashing the device in his pocket. He walked over to stand before his family. “So, I’m going to cut right to the point because there isn’t any reason to drag this conversation out.”

“We already know your dick don’t work, son. That’s why you only got one kid when I told you to have two or three,” Marcus said, laughing at his own joke.

Candice reached for a glass of amber liquid, probably whiskey, on the table and downed it in one gulp. It wasn’t later than 10 in the morning.

“Anyway,” Deion said, ignoring the insult. “I just wanted to tell you all, that it hasn’t been announced just yet but I’m going to be included in this year’s Hall of Fame class. First year on the ballot, baby!”

Caesar watched as his father hugged his parents and then his wife, all of them congratulating him on being inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Caesar walked up last to congratulate him.

Deion put his hand on the back of Caesar’s neck, a wide grin on his face. “Boy, you thought you were going to have it tough carrying the Jenkins name with two All-Pros coming before you, but now you gotta live up to being the son of a Hall of Famer, huh?!” He pushed on Caesar’s shoulder. “Hope you ready to carry this name on your back. It ain’t one to be sullied!”

Caesar chuckled, but he could already feel the weight of the next football season, starting weeks after his father was inducted into the Hall of Fame, starting to weigh on him. Before, he was just Caesar Jenkins, the grandson and son of Super Bowl champions. Now, he was going to be Caesar Jenkins, son of a Hall of Famer.

And he was already struggling to keep pace with the expectations.

“We’re going to Canton!” his father shouted as he and his grandfather left the living room, likely in search of some celebratory booze.

Candice must have noticed her son’s face because she wrapped her arm around his shoulders – as best she could given their massive difference in height – and walked him out of the room.

“You know you should bring someone with you when we go to Canton for all this Hall of Fame bullshit so you don’t have to sit around and listen to a bunch of old men remember their glory days,” she said.

“Oh yeah?”

She nodded. “Yep. Ask Kaley. I think she was much better for you than those last few girls I’ve seen you hanging around with these last few weeks.”

“We aren’t dating, ma.”

“Only because you’re a man and men are stupid and blind,” she said, shaking the empty glass in her hand. “I’ll let you drink this one day to celebrate your father.”

“You already know that I drink.”

Candice shrugged. “Sometimes, I like to believe that we have a normal family life where I’d send you to your room for that so let me have it.”

“Alright, ma.”


Devin hopped out of his car still running and jogged around to the passenger side. Opening the door, he grabbed a few bags of groceries from the floor before kicking it closed and jogging to the front door of his grandparents’ house.

He tested the doorknob to find it locked so he stepped onto the cement planter next to the door and grabbed the extra key from the side of the porch light. He wasn’t sure why his grandparents kept it there given that it was unlikely that either of them still had the leg strength to stand on a planter and grab the key without falling.

He maneuvered the bags and unlocked the door, calling out for his grandparents as he stepped inside the house.

His grandmother, Janice, shuffled around the corner, looking more haggard than usual as she smiled at him. “I didn’t hear you pull up, sweetie. Thanks for bringing us all of this. I hope that it wasn’t too much hassle.”

“No, I worked the early shift this morning so it wasn’t. I just have to go and pick up my girlfriend because we were going to hang out,” he said, trying to say that he needed to leave without saying as much.

“Well, at least let me make you a sandwich or something to take with you to thank you because we could’ve just got this delivered instead.”

Devin nodded, knowing that he didn’t really spend too much time with his family and letting his grandmother make him food wasn’t too much of an ask. “Yeah, a ham sandwich would be great. Thanks, grandma.”

He followed her as she, slowly, shuffled her way back into the kitchen. It seemed like his grandparents aged faster than other people’s. But they’d lived a hard life considering so maybe it wasn’t all that much of a surprise.

His grandfather sat at the kitchen table with a pair of reading glasses perched on his nose with an old laptop in front of him. The man needed more than readers, but he was too stubborn to admit so instead he enlarged the text on the screen.

“Thanks for the groceries, boy. I hope it didn’t run you too much,” the man said as he pecked at the keys, likely from not being able to find them than any lack of ability to use a computer.

“Nope. I had it covered.”

“Good. I would’ve told you that this was the perfect reason why you need to stop turning it down when the recruiters try to hand you a little money on the slick. You can get paid off your likeness you know.”

“Isn’t there paperwork that comes with that? And don’t you have to already be in college?”

“Don’t mean you can’t take the money. They ain’t worried about what happens to you so you shouldn’t be worried about that dumbass shit. Just tell them that you need to feed your kids or something and they’ll give you a little extra.”

“I don’t have any kids.”

“Lie, dumbass.”

“Don’t call him that and don’t tell him to do that,” his grandmother said as she grabbed the loaf of bread out of one of the bags that Devin had brought. “We only have Zapp’s. I know you really don’t like those.”

“No, that’s fine. I don’t want to make too much trouble,” Devin said as he sat at the bar. He looked at his grandfather. The man’s face was almost pressed to the computer screen and he was still squinting his eyes. “You seeing alright over there, grandpa?”

“I got 20/20, boy. I can see well enough to shoot the dick off a mosquito,” he said, sitting back away from the screen. “I’m trying to read this shit about filing taxes and I’m remembering why I never do this shit. You know taxes is the government way of stealing from the people. We ain’t ask for this shit so I ain’t paying it.”

“Isn’t that kinda illegal?”

“I ain’t paid no taxes since when I was in the league. They ain’t say nothing yet, they ain’t going to say nothing.”

“We need to pay it,” Janice said. “I’m tired of worrying about that every year.”

“You ain’t worried about nothing, woman. You don’t make no money.”

“We need to pay the taxes!”

Devin was taken aback by the outburst. He couldn’t remember a time, if ever, that he’d heard his grandmother raise her voice. He looked between his grandparents, feeling like he should probably leave but not knowing what to do.

“Don’t you see that’s what I’m trying to do!” Devin, Jr. shouted back. “If my son wasn’t such a little pussy and had one athletic bone in his body, I could be free of this shit right now and it’d all be paid for.” He looked at Devin. “Hopefully, you know what family mean.”

“Yeah, grandpa.” He didn’t. “Why don’t you just take that to an accountant or something? Or one of those tax preparers?”

“I ain’t let none of these rich white people look at my shit. They’ll say ‘oh, you been hiding something and now we gotta tell Bob, Billy and Mary.’ Fuck that. All this shit ain’t for nothing but for them fat cats in Washington to line their pockets. You remember that when you get to the league. Don’t trust none of ‘em. They don’t care about you.”

Devin nodded and turned to his grandmother, who was putting the sandwich in a plastic bag along with a handful of chips. She held it out to him with a smile.

“Thanks, grandma,” he said, taking it from her and standing up.

“No, thank you for bringing our groceries,” she said.

He waved goodbye to his grandpa who grumbled a goodbye as he had gone back to trying to make out the print on the computer screen.

Devin jogged out of the house to get back to his car, but stopped when he sat in the driver’s seat. He wasn’t too knowledgeable about tax laws, but if his grandpa hadn’t paid taxes since he was in the NFL that would be almost four decades of tax evasion. He shuddered at the thought of the IRS finding out about something like that.

Putting it out of his mind, he closed the door and pulled out of the driveway. That was a topic of worry for a different day.
User avatar

Captain Canada
Posts: 890
Joined: 01 Dec 2018, 05:15

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Captain Canada » 19 Jan 2020, 02:18

I like the developing you've been doing while the football season has been completed. Keep this shit going.
User avatar

Posts: 2451
Joined: 27 Nov 2018, 18:42

War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by djp73 » 20 Jan 2020, 19:58

interested to see how the big german fits in and if grampa leaves devin holding the bag
Post Reply