War of the Roses: Redux Edition

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Captain Canada
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War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Captain Canada » 22 Jul 2019, 17:59

That poor, poor bastard.

Soapy
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War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Soapy » 23 Jul 2019, 11:23

caesar a bitch lmao
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War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Caesar » 23 Jul 2019, 19:38

Chase Rabbits

Devin caught the football that Hasan had thrown to him before tossing it back. He shoved one hand in his pocket as the wind swirled through the yard, using the other one to try to cradle the ball to his chest but only succeeded in dropping it.

“Global warming got the world all fucked up, huh? 30 degrees at the end of October in Louisiana? This shit for the birds,” Hasan said, rubbing his hands together and blowing into them.

“This when the real men love them some football,” Devin said, adding in a country-ish accent. “Nothing like every hit hurting more, every breath feeling cutting through your throat, and the ball feeling like a rock when it hits your hands.”

Hasan laughed. “Why are you complaining about getting hit? You’re a corner. Ain’t nobody hitting yo ass. You supposed to be doing the hitting.”

“One, motherfucker, you weren’t here a few weeks back when I was very much getting hit. And two, I’m a corner not a safety. I don’t have any problem running around with receivers and just batting the ball away instead of having to make tackles.”

“You might as well be a safety. Tall, lanky motherfucker. “

“I’m only like 5’9”.”

“At what? 16? Like I said, tall, lanky motherfucker.”

“Whatever. All I know is for all this shit talking you doing, I expect you to be out there in the spring.”

“Fuck you mean? I’m transferring to Vandebilt and playing for a winning squad. They got a white boy in the backfield after all. Who he thinks he is? Christian McCaffery? Jack Thronton?” Hasan stopped throwing the ball and squinted his eyes. “How y’all lost to them anyway? They have like four niggas on their entire squad.”

“I think they have more than four.”

“Who? DeRossi’s white, Jenkins is, Cazayoux--”

“I don’t think Jenkins is fully white. His grandpa is definitely black.”

“So, they have four and like one-fiftieth. Point is, it’s pretty embarrassing to lose to a team that’s that white.”

Devin caught the ball after Hasan decided to throw it again. “I mean, white, black, green, blue, or purple, they have money to have the best shit. They recruit all the area’s best players. Half of them probably have personal trainers and shit. They got a leg up.”

“Nah, them’s excuses. This ain’t 1955. After one hundred years of athletic integration, everyone knows you can’t win football games with that ratio. I don’t know they do it, but y’all gotta stop letting them win. I’m not losing to anybody who ain’t allowed in the hood or that likes to wear hoods. We gotta get you on a training regimen for the offseason. Chase some rabbits like them boys from Muck City.”

“Chase rabbits? I know you think it’s the sticks out here, but I don’t think rabbits just be running around to be chased.”

“Probably because they been eaten up by all the snakes and alligators in this country ass town,” Hasan laughed.



“Thanks, Mrs. Babineaux.” Devin took the bowl of gumbo from Scarlett’s mother.

“I gave you extra andouille, sha. Don’t tell Renee I gave that to you or he gonna come have his hand in my pot,” she said, winking at him. Her Cajun accent was thick, but not as bad as her husband’s who Devin couldn’t understand even when he focused.

“No, ma’am. It’ll be our secret.”

She laughed as she handed him a glass of sweet tea and a few packs of crackers before patting him on the shoulder and shooing him away.

He headed down the hall to Scarlett’s room and sat on the floor with his bowl of food. She got out of the bed and sat next to him, leaving Tiffany and Erin sitting in her bed.

“My mom treats you better than she treats me,” Scarlett said, reaching into the bowl and plucking out a piece of andouille.

“It’s because she knows that y’all don’t have sex, so she trusts him in here,” Tiffany said.

Devin looked up from his gumbo and turned around so he could look at Scarlett’s friends. “When did you two even start kicking it again? Last I checked, y’all been avoiding each other like the plague.”

“You just haven’t been paying attention,” Erin said, shrugging.

“I still got my money on y’all both finding out that some guy had both of you eating his ass and you’re embarrassed that y’all were both down for that.” Devin laughed.

“Could y’all tell him that’s not what happened so he could shut up?” Scarlett asked. There was a pregnant pause when neither of them answered, both looking around nervously. Scarlett’s jaw dropped. “You have to spill now.”

“You two don’t want to hear that,” Tiffany said.

“I’m intrigued, to be honest,” Devin said as he went back to the meal in his lap.

Erin sighed. “We hooked up with Caesar Jenkins.”

“At the same time,” Tiffany added under her breath.

“And each other,” Erin finished, her voice barely audible.

Shock spread across Scarlett’s face. Disgust etched Devin’s.

“It wasn’t that bad!” Tiffany shouted. “It just wasn’t expected!”

“I’m not trying to be a prude, but that’s next-level whoring,” Scarlett said.

Devin shook his head. “We’re going to change the subject from y’all carpet munching while fucking Caesar Jenkins so I can keep my food down.”

“You’re just jealous,” Erin said.

“Oh, you got me,” Devin said sarcastically.



“You wanted to see me, coach?” Devin asked, poking his head into Coach Hill’s office after a session in the weight room.

The man nodded and waved Devin into the officer. He pointed to the chair. “Go on and have a seat. I just need a moment of your time and then I’m going to let you get out of here. It’s been a tough season for all of us, yeah?”

“Winning’s not everything, right?”

“We’re in a results business, kid. It’s definitely about the W’s and L’s in this world.” The coach sighed and shook his head. He picked up a printout and scanned it over. “You ever check what folks are saying about you on the internet? Where the college scouting gurus are pegging you early on?”

“Well, no, coach. I haven’t even gotten mail or anything from any big schools. Just a few junior colleges and Division III schools. I doubt anyone is looking at me to do anything impressive.”

Coach Hill nodded before sliding the sheet over to Devin. “My son works for Bayou Preps. They always start doing their junior rankings at the end of the season. That’s your profile.”

Devin looked down at the piece of paper. It listed him as a two-star junior prospect. That meant bigger services would likely have him lower – or not ranked at all.

“Well, I never expected anyone to think I was the next big thing in the college ranks. Just trying to see what happens down the road,” Devin said, handing the coach back the print out.

“You know you could be more than that, right, kid? You just need to put in some work in the offseason and you’ll see the improvements. It’ll help when we have some of the guys from Houma Junior High and the JV who can fill some of the holes left by guys who don’t know their chin strap from their jock strap.” The coach paused for a moment. “Don’t tell anyone I said that.”

“I’ll see what I can do, coach, but we still have a big game to end the season with before I start thinking about any of that. I don’t want to lose to S.T.”

“Yeah, kid. I don’t want to lose to South Terrebonne either. Go on and head home, son. Think about what I said about this ‘two-star’ shit. You can be better than that.”

Devin nodded and stood up. Could he, though?

Soapy
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War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Soapy » 24 Jul 2019, 09:57

Devin supposed to try to smash both of them after learning that.
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War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Caesar » 24 Jul 2019, 10:18

Soapy wrote:
24 Jul 2019, 09:57
Devin supposed to try to smash both of them after learning that.
he ain't even built like that, brudda.
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Captain Canada
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War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Captain Canada » 24 Jul 2019, 13:02

Ain't that some shit.
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War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Caesar » 24 Jul 2019, 19:44

Forty-Five

“C’mon now, Ashley. I keep telling you that I’m a man of my word. I’m trying to settle down and become a one-woman man.”

Ashley, a Junoesque brunette, shook her head and folded her arms across her chest. “I don’t want to hear that shit, Caesar. Everyone knows you get around. You enjoy the spotlight and everything and everyone that comes with it too much.”

The two of them stood in one of the school’s stairwells. Ashley on her free period; Caesar skipping class.

“You wound me,” Caesar said, clutching his hand to his heart. “A man can change his stripes. You could be the one to do it for me.”

“Until the next skank looking for a sugar daddy comes along trying to get knocked up so your family has to take care of her for the rest of her life.”

“You never know. She could also be trying to become the first lady of these here United States.”

“Oh, yeah. You’re definitely electable.” She rolled her eyes.

“Bigly, baby. Bigly electable. Really though, you act like I’ve never had a girlfriend before. I don’t cheat. I just play the field when I’m benched.”

“Can’t do it anyway. Ron and I were starting to talk, and y’all are friends.”

Caesar shrugged. “Ron wouldn’t care. We’re like brothers. We share everything, you know?”

“You’re lying.”

“Text him right now and ask him. You can even use my phone.” He held it out to her.

“I’m not trying to see what wild shit you have on your phone.”

“See you even know what he’s going to say.” Caesar laughed. “So, c’mon. We can get it started right here. Just--”

“Caesar? Caesar?” a girl’s voice called. Moments later, Francesca poked her head over the bannister. “I thought that was your voice I heard. We have to talk.”

“One woman man, eh?” Ashley scoffed.

“It’s not even like that. I was—Ashley!” Caesar dropped his head into his hands as she walked away. He looked up as Francesca descended the staircase. “This better be worth it since you just made me miss out on that.”

Francesca crinkled her nose. “She’s kinda fat.”

“Yeah, ‘kinda’ got a fat ass. Come on then. What do we have to talk about?”

“What the fuck did you do to Kaden?” she asked, hitting him in the arm. “Ron told me that he got caught with drugs, but I know Kaden doesn’t fucking do drugs.”

“Maybe, he started and didn’t tell you because you shot him down last year when he was asking for pussy?”

She ignored him. “What’d you do, Caesar?”

He shrugged and sat down on the steps. “Someone had to take the fall, Fran. It wasn’t about to be me. Next time, he’ll wear a suit coat that isn’t so damn big that someone can put something in it without him noticing.”

“Your dad could’ve gotten you off that charge!”

“And schools would’ve still known that I had a drug charge against me. Shit would’ve been all over the news. I’m not trying to play for ITT Tech or DeVries, you know?”

She hit him again. “What about his college dreams? You know his parents aren’t that rich. Riley told me that they had to sell his mom’s car just to post bail and get him a lawyer. And you know the school isn’t going to be too happy about him getting arrested. Stop acting like it’s not a big deal.”

“Francesca. I. Do. Not. Give. A. Fuck. He’s not my friend. We play ball together. That’s it. It’s probably a good thing for his family to realize they’re broke. If his family can’t afford to post a few grand to get him out of jail, his ass shouldn’t be coming here. They can send him to Terrebonne. He’ll fit right in with the other drug dealers.”

She went to hit his arm again, but he grabbed her wrist and shoved her away. “And stop fucking hitting me.”

“You know he’s going to want to kick your ass, right?” she asked.

Caesar laughed heartily. “Little ol’ Kaden isn’t going to do anything but sit in his room, or his cell in this case, and cry about it. I don’t know what you want me to say. I don’t feel bad about what I did. I’m not going to feel bad about what I did. His family could get their trailer or whatever shack they live in taken by the bank tomorrow from this, and I still wouldn’t feel bad.”

“You’re a fucking asshole. I don’t even know why we’re friends.”

“Because you like fucking Ron and Ron’s always around me. You probably have a thing for me, too, being a fucking asshole and all.” He winked at her.

“All I know is that Kaden is piss and you better watch your back when he comes back to school,” she said.

“If he comes back. Might end up at Terrebonne High School for Miscreants and Gangbangers, remember?”

“Whatever, Caesar.” She flipped him off and walked away.

“Hey! Since you ran off Ashley, you want to give me some head?!” he yelled behind her. When she didn’t answer, he sighed and stood up. He glanced at his phone and debated going back to class or heading off to find Ashley for a moment before heading up the stairs back to class.

-*****-

Devin sat in the back of geometry, his head resting on his desk. The teacher droned on and on, and it felt as if time was beginning to drag just as slowly as the teacher’s lesson. And that meant that it would take longer for the clock to hit 2:15 and release him from another day of class.

His phone rested against the desk in front of him, homespun highlight packages playing on it. Coach Hill had gotten into his head with the talk of him being better than a two-star recruit. For the last day and change, he’d been watching the highlight reels that college hopefuls made of themselves and uploaded in hopes of drumming up some interest.

Hasan suggested he take the next season to do the same. Lord knew that there weren’t many highlights from his sophomore season to show anyone, but he was still in highlights somewhere. There were surely many college football coaches salivating at a wide receiver who’d throw blocks like a pulling guard.

To him, it didn’t pay to put together an entire video just to end up playing football for Mount Union or Mary Hardin-Baylor.

“Devin, I hope I’m not boring you,” Mrs. Gaudet said from the front of the class. “Pick your head up or pick up a write up instead.”

Devin held his hands up and leaned back in his desk. As soon as he did, the bell rung, and he was one of the first ones to hop out of his desk.

“It’s time to start applying yourself, Mr. King,” the teacher said to him as he passed her to walk out of the door. “You can’t coast through high school and expect to get anywhere.

He nodded but didn’t answer. She spoke as if his grades were abysmal. He probably had the highest average in that class.

“What’s up, Four?” Bart called when he stepped out into the hall. The running back had his arm around his girlfriend, Jamie, as he walked along with the crush of student. His very, very pregnant girlfriend. “Ready for the last game of the season?”

“Ready to get the season over more like it. I’m tired of going to practice just to get the shit kicked out of us come Friday.”

“You ain’t never lied, but I gotta get to the league so one way or another one of these colleges gonna give me a scholarship or I’m gonna have to put the mask on and rob their financial aid office.”

Devin resisted the urge to shake his head when Jamie smiled up at Bart, clearly enamored with the fake tough talk coming out of his mouth. He also resisted the urge to point out that’s probably what led to her ending up a teen mother.

“I know you getting some looks from some JuCos at least, right?” Bart asked.

Devin nodded. “Yeah, places like Blinn and shit. I would like to think that I can set my sights a little higher than Blinn College though.”

“My nigga, I’ll go to Blinn College, Twin College, Sin College, Baby Please Be with Me ‘Til the End College, it don’t fucking matter. Mad niggas went through places like Blinn and East Mississippi and made it to the league. They just gotta put me out there and let me spin.”

“As long as you don’t forget us here,” Jamie said.

“Wouldn’t think of it,” Bart said, putting a hand on her stomach.

“Hey, I have a friend who thinks you’re cute,” she said to Devin.

“They wild, man. You don’t want none of that.” Bart laughed.

“Shut up,” she said, elbowing him in his side. She looked at Devin. “I can give you her number and shit if you want. The four of us could chill by my aunt’s after the game.”

Devin looked at Jamie. She was pretty enough. Stereotypical when everything was thrown into the package. He imagined her friends were just the same. White girls who listened to a few too many rap songs and leaned toward guys with nicknames like Bart.

“Nah, I’m good. I have a girlfriend. Thanks, though,” Devin said.

“My nigga Devin a ol’ faithful ass nigga. Can’t find them no more.” Bart laughed again.

“What the fuck you mean?!” Jamie shouted, pulling away from him.

Taking that as his cue to make his exit, Devin slipped out of the crowd of students and headed to the far end of the building to go down an emptier staircase. He debated asking Bart if he needed him to give Coach Hill a better excuse than ‘I had to calm down my baby mama’ for why he was going to be late for practice.

Never a dull moment at Terrebonne High School.
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Captain Canada
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War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Captain Canada » 24 Jul 2019, 23:21

That's how Caesar feels, huh? He ain't real.
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War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Caesar » 30 Jul 2019, 20:41

Forgiveness You Won’t Get

Devin’s eyes roamed the rows of fish fry in front of him. Scarlett had sent him to get a specific brand, but he’d forgotten as soon as he walked away from her. He wasn’t even entirely sure what brand his parents used to make a guess from that.

An old lady behind him cast a disapproving glare in his direction prompting him to quickly grab a box in hopes that it was the right one.

He found her still carefully selecting shrimp for the dinner her mother had sent them to buy groceries for.

She looked at the jar in his hand. “That’s not the right one. Mom doesn’t use Zatarain’s.”

“Who doesn’t use Zatarain’s everything?”

“My mom and my grand-mère, apparently. We’ll just get it when we past back over there.”

Devin shrugged and dropped the box in the basket. The end of the football season meant that he’d been spending a lot of time at Scarlett’s to avoid his parents. He knew they didn’t approve, but they didn’t approve of much that he did. He did have to give them points for watching the last game of the season on local TV – even though South Terrebonne gave them a monumental beating in an effort to try to sneak into the playoffs.

And in a couple weeks, he’d gone from football player to grocery getter.

“You’re going to agree to go to the state championship games with my dad, right?” Scarlett asked as he followed her through the store.

“Can’t he take one of your cousins or something? I can’t say that I’m too excited to go watch other people win state championships, especially with Vandebilt still in the playoffs.”

“But you have to start doing this with him, so he’ll like you.”

“If he hasn’t started liking me after four years then I don’t think he’s going to start liking me because we go to a few high school football games together.”

“You never know.” She stopped and grabbed a jug of milk to put in the basket. “Think about it. He doesn’t have a son so the only way he’s going to get one is by me marrying someone. That would be you. You don’t want to be someone who doesn’t get along with their in-laws, do you?”

“I’ll take my chances.”

She glanced over her shoulder and held his gaze for a moment then shrugged. “You’re going anyway, because he bought three tickets so I could come along too. And you’re not going to say no to me so you might as well just clear a weekend and be ready to stay in New Orleans.”

“That’s a pretty damn unfair way to win an argument.”

“You lo—”

A basket clashed into theirs, cutting her off. A full basket with someone sitting on top of cases of beer.

“Watch out, lil’ bitch,” Caesar Jenkins said from atop his throne of Bud Light, laughing. He took a closer look at Scarlett then turned to Devin and the humor faded away.

“Fuck’s the problem up there, Caesar?” Ron DeRossi asked from behind another basket. It was also full of beer.

Caesar didn’t answer and jumped down to shove the basket Scarlett was pushing out of the way.

“Hey, what the hell are you doing?” she asked, anger in her voice.

Devin stepped forward, but stopped when Caesar brushed by, staring him down.

“What the fuck you going to do about it, pussy?” he asked as he stopped in front of Devin.

Devin looked back at the other customers who were starting to take an interest in what was going on. He held his hands up and took a step back.

“That’s what I thought, clown. Fuck out the way.” He nodded to the guy who was pushing the basket he was sitting on and they squeezed through the aisle, five of them in total.

Scarlett shook her head as they turned the corner. “Too much testosterone for their own good.” She looked at Devin. “If you start acting like that, you can just forget I even existed. That tough guy act is so disgusting.”

“I’d call that a spoiled rich kid act. I don’t think I have enough zeroes in my bank account to start acting like that.”

-*****-

“Caesar, can you fucking help us?” Britton asked as he hefted yet another case of beer out of the back of his SUV.

Caesar looked up from his phone and watched as his friends unloaded their haul from their grocery run. “How am I going to help you lift heavy shit, man? I’m a 74-year-old man that served three tours in Vietnam. My sciatica is acting up.”

Ron walked past with three racks of ribs from his truck. “You know no one really believes that you are fucking 74, right? Or that you served in a fucking war that ended damn near a hundred years ago. It’s the hundred dollar bills that you give them with that piece of shit ID.”

“Alright, Mr. Winston Chu. 58-year-old pensioner from Vancouver,” Caesar said, referring to Ron’s fake ID. “If the shit gets us the shit, then it’s a good fake. Let’s not split hairs about it. It’s not like people around here don’t know who we are.”

“He’s got a point,” Bentley said as he sat down on the curb and pulled a joint from his pocket. He lit it up and smiled. “Break time.”

Anthony quickly joined him and the two began passing it between them.

“You motherfuckers are always getting high,” Britton said, laughing. “This is the exact shit that Republicans were afraid of way back in the day when people were trying to legalize that shit.”

“The only time they aren’t high is when they’re asleep,” Ron said.

Bentley took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, coughing a bit. “Fuck that. I’m high when I’m asleep, too. I got good shit. Medical grade for my anxiety.”

“You can’t even spell anxiety, motherfucker.” Caesar laughed. He pointed to the dozen cases of beer they bought. “You know we can’t lose to Karr now, right? Some people would say y’all done jinxed us with this victory party shit.”

“Wasn’t it your idea?” Anthony asked, handing Bentley the joint.

“I’m the youngest one out here. How are you going blame me for peer pressure?”

“Because you bought all the shit,” Ron said. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and pulled up a social media app. “Everyone’s talking about this one. Like it’s the first real test of this whole doing away with the split shit.”

Bentley nodded. “Karr won a lot of ‘chips when they were only playing the other public schools.”

“Karr won a lot of ‘chips,” Caesar said in a funny voice. “Just because they get on TV for dancing at their graduations, which I’ll say is played the fuck out, doesn’t mean that they are good at football. All the best players go to the all-boys schools in New Orleans.”

“So, in other words, they are better at sports because they can’t distract themselves with pussy?” Anthony laughed.

“No wonder Caesar dropped all those passes last week,” Ron said, causing the group to laugh at Caesar’s expense.

Britton stopped laughing and looked toward the street. “What’s up, Kaden?” The rest of them stopped laughing, too.

A few paces from Britton’s house, Kaden stood in the street wearing an old hoodie, basketball shorts, and some scuffed up shoes.

“Heard y’all out here.” He shrugged and walked toward them. He looked at Caesar. “You got me kicked out of school, bitch.”

Caesar put his phone on the bumper of Britton’s SUV. “I didn’t do shit. It’s not my fault that you were walking around with drugs on you.”

“Yo, man. Y’all be easy,” Bentley said. “Y’all blowing my high.”

“Fuck your high,” Kaden said.

Ron laughed. “Stop acting tough and go home before you get hurt, man. You aren’t getting any respect out here today. Just call it a day.”

“No, Ron. Let him speak his mind,” Caesar said, taking his letterman’s jacket off. “You mad about what happened? Do something about it.”

Kaden didn’t need a second invitation as he lunged as Caesar and tried to tackle him to the ground. Caesar let himself get shoved against Britton’s truck. Wrapping his arms around Kaden’s chest, he lifted him up and dropped him on the pavement.

Caesar rolled over onto Kaden’s back and rained a few flurries down on the side of Kaden’s face that he could see. The others rushed over and pushed Caesar off Kaden before things got out of hand.

Caesar brushed his pants off and looked at his knuckles, bloody from scraping the concrete. “Now, you can add an ass whupping to your list of woes.”

Kaden pushed Britton and Anthony away from him and started walking down the street. He turned around, shouting. “You’re going to get yours soon, bitch!”

“Just let me know when you want round two. I’ll be waiting.” Caesar walked over to one of the cases of beer and pulled one out of the pack before picking his phone back up.
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Captain Canada
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War of the Roses: Redux Edition

Post by Captain Canada » 31 Jul 2019, 11:32

I deadass thought Caesar was going to get popped.
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