Just Let Go
“Do y’all have to be so stereotypical?”
Caesar looked up from the bathroom counter. He glanced at Janelle, who’d spoken, and then Britton who only shrugged. He sighed and went back to smashing pills in a plastic baggie with the heel of his shoe.
“Couldn’t you just pop the pills and cut out the need to take over a girls’ bathroom?” she asked. She turned to Britton. “Talk some sense into your friend.”
Caesar ignored her, picked up the bag and motioned Emma over to him. He dabbed a line of the dust across her breasts where her dress exposed skin. She smiled at tilted her head back and he snorted it up. Then licked up the rest of it and kissed her.
Janelle rolled her eyes. “It’s almost like you go out of your way to be the rich kid who uses. If you have to get high to have a good time, maybe you should find another way to have a good time.”
Caesar shrugged before dropping his shoe on the floor and stomping his foot into it. “You’d probably loosen up a bit if you started partying, you know? I have some more in my pocket if you want to find out.”
“Let’s go,” Britton said, putting his hand on her back and leading her out of the bathroom.
Caesar put his arm around Emma and followed them. He looked down and wiped the spit off her chest before they walked through the door, lest anyone see.
“Where’s Ron?” Caesar asked Bentley and Anthony who were hanging out on the other side of the door with their dates.
Anthony turned away from the short, freckled redhead he’d brought to the dance to point at Ron and Francesca walking toward them. “Went to see who was going to win Homecoming king.”
“I’m guessing it wasn’t you?” Caesar asked Ron when he was within earshot.
“Fuck no. It was that fucking guy Caleb Hebert. I’m not hating on anyone’s lifestyle, but I don’t think being able to properly contour is grounds for someone winning any kind of popularity contest,” Ron said.
“He is really good at it, though,” Francesca said.
“You’re supposed to be on my side here.”
“I don’t get why you’re so mad about it. We haven’t even gone here a year yet,” Caesar said.
“He has a point. It’s not like they like any of us,” Bentley said. His date smacked him on the arm. “Well, most of them don’t like any of us.”
“I never said I was mad about not winning. I’m mad about who got it, specifically, over me,” Ron said.
Emma nudged Caesar with her hip. “As much as I want to pretend about that shit, this dress is way too tight. I’m dying to get out of this thing. Can we go now?”
“I don’t need more motivation than that.” He looked at the rest of the group. “Party at my place, right?”
Ron nodded. “Yep. We’ll catch up.”
Caesar shrugged and walked behind Emma as they headed for the door. He reached in his coat pocket for the other pills he had on him, but stopped short of taking the bag out with the groups of students milling about the venue.
As they turned corner to leave, he saw Devin, Hasan, Trigga, Bart, Kenyatta and their dates walking in. The five of them all gave him a look that could kill as he passed. His only reaction was to wink at Bart.
Until he got a good look at Devin’s date.
He stopped for a moment and she looked up at him, her eyes widening. He laughed before continuing on.
-*****-
“Didn’t expect to see him here,” Carla said under her breath.
Devin looked over at her. “Caesar? How do you know him?”
“Everyone at Houma Christian is in the same circles as the kids who were at Vandebilt. That’s how I knew Gina before she transferred. Me and Caesar had a thing, I guess, for a bit. He cheated on me, though so fuck him.”
“We’re just going to ignore all of that and not mention it again.”
They followed the group through the venue. Devin was a bit shocked at how packed it still was despite them getting to the dance much later than they’d expected to.
“Fair enough.” Carla scanned the crowd. “I’m going to go find the girl with a flask attached to her leg. I need a shot or something.”
“You assuming there is some girl here with a flask attached to her leg?”
“There is always a girl with a flask attached to her leg. Probably a few of them.” She laughed. “You’ll have to come with me if you’re trying to get a little tipsy yourself, though. But I don’t know if you’ll want to drink from something that’s been up around some random chick’s hooha all night.”
“You realize that you are going looking to drink from something that’s been up around some random chick’s ‘hooha’ all night.”
She shrugged. “Alcohol kills germs, right?” She grabbed ahold of the lapel of his coat and slipped her wallet into his pocket. “Hold on to that for me, will you?”
Carla turned around to walk away but bumped into Scarlett who had been cutting through the crowd to get to Devin.
“Oh, sorry. Excuse me,” Scarlett said.
Carla looked over her shoulder at Devin whose lip was slightly curled up at the sight of Scarlett. Carla nodded slowly.
“Oh no, honey.” Carla stepped back in front of the other girl. “I don’t really know you all that well, but I know this ship has sailed on you.”
“This ship? Who even are you?”
Carla smiled. “I’m your replacement, sweetie. Now, kick rocks. I’m not afraid to fight a bitch, but I don’t want to break my nails tonight.”
Scarlett looked to Devin and he only shrugged. Her head dropped and she turned back to go the way she’d came.
Devin stepped up alongside Carla. “You didn’t have to do that, you know?”
“I don’t like people who cheat. That’s just low. Alright.” She brushed her hand against his. It was a very slight touch. “You sure you don’t want any crotch wine if I find the girl with the flask?”
Devin laughed. “I think I’m good.”
-*****-
Devin looked out over the balcony of someone’s house Gina had brought them to. He held a nearly full beer bottle in his hand as music thumped through the walls and high school students got up to God knows what.
Hasan was nearby, whispering something to his date, Ariane. Although the group had been together for hours, the girl still seemed shy. It made Devin wonder where Hasan had found her.
His date on the other hand...
He turned around and leaned against the railing. Just inside the house, Carla and Gina were dancing together. Carla caught him looking and held eye contact with him as she danced. There was already some chemistry between them, but his mind kept wandering elsewhere. Besides, it wasn’t as if he had a lot of experience with girls not named Scarlett.
Bringing the bottle up to his lips, he took a bit of a swig. Beer still didn’t quite sit right with him, but he felt awkward to be at a party and not be holding some type of alcohol.
Carla raised her hand and beckoned him over. He pushed away from the railing and walked over to her as she broke apart from Gina. Gina walked by, patting him on the arm as she passed.
He stopped inches away from her. She looked up at him from under her eyelashes. His body reacted, and he could tell she knew. She smiled and grabbed his hand, leading him through the crowd of bodies. She found an empty bedroom, locking the door behind them.
“Where are you right now?” she asked, grabbing the beer bottle from him and drinking from it.
“Where am I?”
She kicked off her shoes before sitting on the bed and nodded. “Yeah. You’ve been in space all night. Well, most of the night. You were mostly fine when we were at the dance.”
He shrugged, scanning the room they were in. Most of the stuff on the walls and the green-based décor implied it was a guy’s room. He felt a bit bad about being in someone’s room without permission, but he imagined that was the perils of having a party at your house. He flicked through a notebook that was on the desk as he walked around.
“Come sit down. You’re making me jittery.”
“Sorry.” He sat down next to her, but took the beer back. He felt like he needed to do something with his hands and holding the beer was as good of an idea as any.
“You’re thinking about your ex, right?”
He opened his mouth, but closed it before he said anything.
Carla laughed. “It’s fine. I don’t feel bad about it. We just met each other. It’s not like we’re three years into a relationship and you’re still thinking about her. Then I’d have to cut your dick off and no one wants that.”
“Yeah, I am very attached to my dick. It’s been with me my whole life.”
“So, let me tell you want you need to do.” She got up on her knees and moved around until she was behind him. She propped her head up on his shoulder. “You need to take out your phone and send her a text right now. Tell her that you’re over her and you hope that y’all can be friends in the future but for now she gotta fuck off.”
“Fuck off is a strong sentiment.”
She ran her hand over his chest. “You seem strong enough to me to be saying strong things. So, go ahead. Get your phone out and send it.”
“I don’t know about all that. Ignoring her has been working pretty well so far.”
“Nope.” Carla ran her hand over his chest to his stomach then along his belt to his pocket. She smiled when he inhaled sharply. Her hand snaked into his pocket and pulled his phone out which she dropped on his lap. “There, I’ve done the hard part. You just have to send it.”
Devin sighed and picked up his phone, unlocking it with a swipe of his thumb. He scrolled to the weeks-old text thread from Scarlett. The last couple dozen texts all from her. He typed out a version out what Carla had said. She didn’t give him a chance to have second thoughts as she reached around him and hit send.
“She blew her chance. Just let go of her,” she whispered. She grabbed the hem of his shirt and started to pull it up, but he stopped her. “What? Oh, I’m sorry. I didn--”
“It’s not anything you did. It’s just I--” He paused and inhaled sharply. “I’ve never exactly had sex before and I don’t walk around expecting to have sex so... Don’t know exactly what I’m saying here, but just thought I’d throw that out there since I’m not really experienced here.”
She shrugged even though he was facing away from her. “I’ve only been with two guys so my expectations aren’t all that high. You need to let go for a night, though. Let your mind run wild in the morning.”
She pulled his shirt up again and this time he let her take it off.
“I don’t have a condom or anything either,” he said, feeling embarrassed about the entire situation.
Carla reached her hand into his other pocket and pulled out a flat, square-shaped golden package. She held it up in front of him.
“What? That’s not mine.”
She laughed. “Gina put it there a little while ago when you weren’t looking. She has quick hands and I think you were a little distracted.”
“I’m going to have to watch my wallet around her.”
She turned his head so he was looking at her. “Maybe so, but for now you just watch me.”
She kissed him before maneuvering so that she was straddling his waist. Devin wrapped his arms around her, ignoring his phone that had been knocked to the floor and was vibrating with text notifications and missed calls.
-*****-
Caesar stood in front of the mirror in his bathroom. He picked up his cellphone and checked the time. A quarter to three. He’d taken a bit too much and now he couldn’t sleep despite having gone a few rounds with Emma. He wiped a few beads of sweat from his brow despite the A/C on full blast and the strong chill outside.
Flicking his thumb across the screen of his phone, he pulled up his text thread with Kaley. He took a step back into his room to make sure Emma was asleep then went back into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.
A few taps and the phone started ringing. It went to voicemail, so he called again. It went to voicemail again, so he called a third time.
She answered that time.
“Ca-- Caesar?” her voice was groggy and rough.
“I wanted to hear your voice.”
He heard shuffling on the other end of the line and the sound of a door clicking. She was barely above a whisper when she spoke. “What time is it? I thought y’all had Homecoming tonight?”
“It’s almost three and we did.”
“Caesar, you know I’m at David’s.”
He shrugged even though she couldn’t see him do it. “I don’t really care. What’s he going to do? Not a damn thing but be mad and go back to sleep.”
“Caesar, stop it.”
He changed the subject. “I saw your cousin tonight.”
“Carla? Not that Houma is the biggest place out there, but where’d you see her? And if you fucked her, I’d rather not know about it.”
“You have a low opinion of your cousin. I don’t think I can go for a round two there. She apparently knows Devin King and was his date tonight.”
“Who is that?”
“A pussy ass bitch. You should come visit Carla. Don’t they say that cousins are your first best friends? I’m sure she misses you terribly.”
She sighed. “Between Carla and David, I don’t see what you’re trying to get at here. Carla doesn’t like you and David can be possessive at times.”
“Leave his ass on the Northshore.”
“I—”
“Leave his ass on the Northshore or come when he’s offshore. It’s not rocket science unless you don’t want to.”
“It’s not that.”
There was a soft knock at the bathroom door. Caesar thought he was hearing it over the phone until her heard Emma say that she needed to pee.
“Tell me that you’ll come. Over the holidays or something. You won’t have any excuse.”
“Caesar.”
“Tell me.”
Emma banged on the door harder. “Caesar, open the fucking door!”
“I can’t promise that. Was that someone yelling?”
“Just say it anyway.”
She paused for a moment. “Okay, I’ll come.”
“Thank you. I’ll let you go now. Talk soon, Kaley.”
He hung up the phone and placed it on the face bowl. Leaning forward, he looked at himself in the mirror and saw that he was still sweating, and his pupils were dilated even in the dark. It was looking like a long comedown.
“Caesar!” Emma shouted and followed it up with what sounded like her kicking the door.
Caesar turned and ripped the door open.
“Who the fuck were you talking to?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Did you need to piss or did you get up to listen to my conversation? Because if it’s the latter, you can get your shit and go home.”
“I just told you that I need to pee. It’s not my fault that you were in here talking to someone. You could’ve done that somewhere other than the fucking bathroom.”
Caesar stepped out of her way and held his hand up to usher her into the bathroom.
“Thank you.” She walked passed him to the toilet but paused when she noticed he was still in the room. “Aren’t you going to leave?”
“Aren’t you going to piss?”
“Do you want to fucking watch or something else fucking weird?”
He shrugged before grabbing his phone from the sink. “The thought crossed my mind. Not something I’m into though. Next time, go to one of the other fucking bathrooms instead of bothering me.”
Her rebuttal was cut off when he closed the door behind him. He walked over to his bed and sat on the edge of it. Flipping his phone over in his hands, he pulled up the text thread with Kaley again. He read over their last few conversations for a moment before deleting it as he’d done every night despite the myriad of security features on the phone.
She’d admitted to deleting their texts constantly to keep her boyfriend from seeing them. Some part of him felt he should do the same even though he didn’t care if Emma saw the texts.
Tossing the phone back on the bed, he got up and walked back over to the bathroom door. He opened it slightly so Emma could hear him. “Hey, can you blow me before you go back to sleep?”