Sorpresa
“How are you going to try to cheat in Go Fish?” Devin asked, putting his hand over the pile of cards on the table between him and Carla.
Carla plucked his fingers until he pulled his hand back. “It’s not cheating. It’s being organized. The cards were falling off the stack so I fixed it.”
“Fixed it while looking at the cards.”
“I can’t help it if the cards turned face up while I was straightening the pile.” She shrugged and looked at the cards in her hand. “Besides, you should be letting me win anyway. Here I am telling my daddy what a gentleman you are, and you can’t even let his favorite daughter win in a card game. He’d be so, so upset.”
“Aren’t you his only daughter? Or is your brother transgender?”
“Favorite. Only. Semantics. It’s a good argument to let me win.”
He shook his head and picked up the card off the top of the stack. “I don’t need to impress your dad any more than I already have. Are you forgetting that we bonded over the finer points of a proper steak dinner? Me and Curt are tight.”
“You and Curt, huh?”
“Yeah, my podna as he would say.”
“Sounds like I’m going to have to kick you to the curb then. I can’t be a part of any illegal bromances going on in here.”
“You can’t get in the way of true love, Carla. Don’t be so jealous.”
A set of rough knocks on the door had Carla pushing away from the table to answer it. She pointed at the cards as she walked away. “Don’t cheat either. I’m watching you.”
The banging became incessant when she was only a few inches from the door.
“I’m fucking coming! Jesus Christ!” she shouted as she unlocked the door and yanked it open. On the other side stood Kaley and her boyfriend, David, who had his hand raised to continue knocking on the door. Carla looked at him with narrowed eyes. “Next time, act a little more civilized with how you knock on the fucking door.”
“We’ve been standing out here for 10 minutes pressing the doorbell. Kaley sent you like thirty texts that you didn’t answer,” he said.
Kaley only shrugged when Carla looked at her for confirmation.
Carla reached out of the door and jabbed the doorbell. No sound. “It doesn’t fucking work. Try being patient next time.”
“Or fix the doorbell,” David shot back.
“Just come in before the neighbors think y’all are Mormons spreading the word.”
“Can’t say I’d mind more than one wife,” David laughed before wrapping his arm around Kaley’s waist and essentially leading her into the house.
Carla closed her eyes and sighed, already hoping that this impromptu visit would be a short one. Devin looked up from the small card pyramid he’d started to build when the three of them walked inside.
Carla sat back down across from him. “Devin, that’s my cousin Kaley and her boyfriend. Kaley and boyfriend, this is Devin.”
“I have a name, Carla. I’m David.”
Kaley only gave a slight wave.
“What’s up?” Devin looked at the rather grungy jeans and boots he was wearing. Only the camo jacket he had on seemed to be clean. “Just getting off from work, man?”
“Yeah, just getting off the boat. Boss had us on a 21 day hitch, but you know how that is. Someone gotta get the black gold out the ground.”
Devin nodded. “Totally. Damn... bosses.”
David looked at Carla. “Mind if I use y’all bathroom? I gotta take a shit.” Before she could answer, he said, “Of course, you don’t mind. Hope you cleaned in there.”
Carla steepled her hands in front of her face and took a few deep breaths as David headed down the hallway. When she heard the door close, she almost fell out of her chair as she turned around to face Kaley.
“Why the fuck is David James in my house right now? Why the fuck are you still with him? Why the fuck are you here? Why the fuck do you not talk for yourself when he’s around?” Carla reeled off, her hands waving about as she spoke.
“First of all, I do speak for myself when he’s around. I don’t know why you always say that shit. It’s not true,” Kaley snapped back. “And he asked me to get him from Fourchon so I decided to come visit you for a few days. Is there something wrong with family visiting one another?”
Carla scoffed. “Yes, it is one hundred thousand percent true. And no there’s nothing wrong with that, but David can’t stay here. You can, but he can’t.”
“Okay. I’ll ask him if he’s fine with that.”
Carla stared at Kaley for a moment then grabbed her hand and held it up. “And what the FUCK is this?”
“Looks like a ring to me,” Devin said.
“Shut up, Devin. You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to think about that, though? Yay, Kaley? Congratulations?”
“No, tell her she’s being a stupid bitch if she’s engaged to him
in fucking high school.”
Kaley pulled her hand back. “It’s a promise ring because well... I’m not going to get engaged in high school. That’s crazy.”
“It’s crazy that you’re even still with him, but here we are. You better hope I don’t stab him before he leaves. Devin would definitely help me hide the body,” Carla said.
“I would?” Devin asked.
“Yes, you would.”
“Alright, alright. You made your point. You don’t like him,” Kaley said. “I’m going to need you to cover for me later though.”
“For what?”
“Well... I can’t exactly tell you, but if he asks just say that we went eat or something. I’ll wait until after I bring him to a hotel somewhere so it’s an easier lie to pull off.”
“You’re being sketchy, Kaley.”
“Please?”
“Only if you tell me why tomorrow.”
Kaley nodded. “Maybe so. By the way, your brother’s not here, is he?”
Carla palmed her face and shook her head. “No.”
“Thank God.”
“What do you have against Chris?” Devin asked.
“He always tries to catch glimpses of her naked. Weird little fuck,” Carla said.
“Shouldn’t have asked. Shouldn’t have asked.”
-*****-
Caesar leaned on a golf club as he waited for Ron to line up a putt – his fifth attempt at making the putt, putting him at least seven strokes over par. Caesar was almost embarrassed that they had a similar handicap.
“Just pick it up and drop it in the hole!” Francesca shouted from the golf cart.
“Like hell he will,” Caesar said. “It’s a good thing you don’t have this much trouble putting things in holes off the course, Ron, or you’d just be struggling through life.”
Ron waved off the comment and pulled on the edge of the glove, that was on the wrong hand, before squatting to survey his approach for the umpteenth time. He stood up, lined up the putter and tapped the ball. This time, it rolled around the rim and dropped into the hole.
Ron jumped into the air and fist-pumped. “Fuck yeah! You’re going to be owing me money, motherfucker!”
“Emma, how’s the numbers looking?” Caesar asked as he placed his ball down.
“Well, I got a little confused with how many times Ron was hitting the ball, but I think he owes you like $150 right now,” Emma said, looking at her phone where she’d been trying to keep score as it was explained to her a couple hours ago.
“Francesca, keep an eye on her. You know Caesar a cheating motherfucker,” Ron said.
Caesar pulled his phone out of his back pocket after feeling it vibrate.
“Hey, motherfucker. Don’t be pulling up any apps to measure distance. Line up that putt like a man!” Ron swatted at the phone, but Caesar pulled it away.
“I’m answering a fucking text, dumbass.” He hit send and kept the phone in his hand as he looked at the green. He answered it as soon as it vibrated again.
“Today, bro.”
Caesar sighed as he lined up to take the putt, phone still in hand. Giving the ball just the slightest of taps, it slowly rolled to the edge of the hole before tipping in.
He held his hand out to Ron. “Eight more holes. You sure you don’t want to just quit now and give me a few hundred bucks?”
Ron slapped his hand down. “Fuck that. I’m going to win. Let’s go to the next one.”
…
“Ma’am, we have a dress code here. You can’t come in here wearing that.”
Kaley looked down at her clothes. “I don’t see what’s wrong with what I’m wearing. I’m just meeting someone here. I’m not trying to make it an everyday occurrence.”
The doorman shook his head. “You can’t come in here wearing that. It doesn’t fit our dress code for women. I’m sorry.”
“What is your dress code for women? A burka? I’m wearing fairly decent jeans and a sweater. You’re talking as if I’m naked.”
“There’s no need to get hostile, ma’am. I don’t want to have to call security.”
“Hostile?! I haven’t even raised my voice! If you could just get off your high horse for two God damn seconds, I--”
The doorman reached under the podium and grabbed his headset. Before he could get the word security out of his mouth, Caesar rounded the corner. He dropped his bag of clubs on the ground, glancing at Kaley and then the doorman.
“One moment, Mr. Jenkins. I just have to deal with this unruly young lady and I’ll be right with you.”
“Shut the fuck up, Darryl. She’s with me,” Caesar said. He turned to Kaley. “You didn’t tell him that?”
Kaley shrugged. “I was trying to get there until he started jabbering on about dress code.”
Caesar shook his head. “Darryl, have someone come take care of those clubs. Put her name down so we don’t have to go through all this shit next time.”
“Mr. Jenkins, it’s highly inappropriate--”
“Kaley Parfait. Put it down. I didn’t ask for a lecture about appropriateness. Tell your boss to go talk to my dad if it’s that much of a problem. We can go to the new club.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“Caesar, I don’t think I’ll be coming here all that often,” Kaley said.
Caesar shrugged and walked around the podium, opening the door for her. He waved his hand. “Gotta move quick.”
“Move quick?” she asked, walking inside of the clubhouse. Her eyes scanned the people milling about. They weren’t dressed all that fancy. “Why the rush?”
“Ron’s stalling for me while I sneak you in here. I was doing some couple-y shit when you texted me.” He led her up a set of stairs to a sitting area.
She remained standing while he sat. “If you’re here with your girlfriend, you should’ve said that. I can leave.”
“I said I was doing some couple-y shit, not that I have a girlfriend. Emma’s just Emma. We fuck. Besides, it’d make it easier for you if we both had a significant other to lose. And I know you didn’t just almost get arrested to walk right back out the door. Now, could you please sit down?”
Kaley looked around for a moment before sitting next to him. “So, Emma’s her name, huh?”
He laughed. “I know you aren’t about to try to talk about that of all things. Start with why are you in Houma.”
“You know why,” she said, her voice quietened a few levels.
“Staying with your cousin?”
“I’m not sure. I, uh, got a hotel room.”
“Well, shit,” Caesar said, smiling. “I’ve never fucked in a hotel room, but there’s a first time for everything.”
“I’m not a prostitute. I don’t fuck in hotel rooms,” Kaley shot back. Her next words came out in a jumble. “Also, David’s with me.”
The smile faded from Caesar’s face. He looked forward for a moment before turning back toward her. “You hungry? I’m going to be honest with you. Country club food isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be and the shit is expensive for no reason, but it’s better than Applebee’s.”
“What about Emma? She won’t be looking for you.”
“She’s already blowing my phone up, but I’ll deal with that later and you don’t need to worry about that.”
Kaley looked at her phone. She’d given herself an hour-and-a-half before she figured David would start looking for her. Fifty-five minutes left. She nodded, smiling. “I’ll be the judge of that, but I hope they don’t mistake me for the help.”