The porch boards creaked under his weight, even when he tried to sit light. One of them always did, right near the middle. Caine shifted his foot just enough to quiet it. The neighborhood was still—a rare pause between school buses and somebody’s cousin blasting NBA YoungBoy from a busted-out Corolla.
He had the notebook open across his lap, pages already smudged at the corners. It wasn’t much, just one of those cheap spiral joints from Family Dollar. The first half was stuffed with folded-up letters he’d written on scrap paper in jail. Some were on napkins. One on the back of a commissary list. All of them for Camila.
He was writing again now. Pencil moving slow. The words weren’t pretty. They didn’t have to be.
Camila,
You won’t remember none of this, not really. Not what it smelled like in jail, not the sound the latch made on the door. You won’t remember how I ain’t get to hold you on your birthday or how bad I wanted to. You’ll grow up in a world that says you lucky your daddy even stuck around at all.
He paused. Looked out at the street. A mail truck passed. Tires grinding against the broken concrete.
I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be good. I want to be. But I ain’t never seen good get too far where I come from. I seen good boys get shot for being soft. I seen hard ones get thrown away for not knowing when to stop. Maybe that’s what I am now. One of the thrown-away ones trying to find his way back.
He rubbed the edge of his thumbnail along the spiral binding.
You gonna have it harder than me. That’s just real. Black, Honduran, Mexican. Girl. Poor. With a daddy who already got a number stamped next to his name. People gonna expect you to fail before you ever speak. They gonna say you loud if you stand up for yourself, fast if you smile too long, angry if you cry. You won’t get to mess up without paying double.
Caine blinked hard. The porch was quiet. Somebody’s wind chimes clinked faint in the distance.
I wish I could give you something better. But all I can give you is this—don’t stop fighting. Not even when it feel like the world ain’t worth it. Fight anyway. Even if it’s just to stay kind. Just to stay you. Stay you, mamas. Don’t let them take shit from you. That’s the only way you beat all this.
He sat back, pencil dangling between his fingers, breathing like the air had thickened. The sun was just starting to drop behind the trees, throwing long shadows across the lawn. He tucked the notebook back into his hoodie pocket and zipped it halfway, like that would keep the words safe.
A car passed slowly. Some old lady walking her dog nodded as she moved by. He nodded back.
For a second, Caine thought about going back inside. But he didn’t move.
He just sat there on the porch, hoodie pulled up, heart steady but heavy.
Still trying to believe there was something on the other side of all this that looked like a life.
The hallway smelled like bleach and sweat, like somebody had tried to drown the day in chemicals and came up short. Sara pushed her cart past a half-closed door and knocked once before stepping inside. Another room. Another mess.
She moved on autopilot—stripping the sheets, gathering the towels, spraying down the bathroom tiles while the fan buzzed above her head like a mosquito that couldn’t die. The window unit rattled in the corner, pushing warm air into an already thick room.
It wasn’t the worst she’d seen. But the bedspread had a smear on it that made her nose crinkle, and someone had spilled Sprite or maybe champagne on the nightstand. The remote control was sticky. She wiped it down without thinking.
She was halfway through changing the linens when the voice came from the hall.
“You behind again, Sara?”
The words were casual. But there was a bite under them.
She didn’t look up. “No.”
“Well, pick it up anyway. They just called down—401 needs turning too.”
Sara yanked the fitted sheet a little harder than necessary, corners snapping into place like slaps. She didn’t answer.
The footsteps receded. She finished the bed, checked the drawers, emptied the trash.
In the linen closet at the end of the hall, she pulled the door shut behind her and leaned back against the shelves. Her fingers found the little Altoids tin tucked behind the bleach. She popped the lid with one thumb. Inside: a single rolled joint, prepped the night before.
She lit it with a disposable lighter and held the smoke deep in her chest. Blew it slow toward the tiny vent above her head. The fan barely worked, but it whined in its effort.
The first drag didn’t do much. The second let her jaw unclench.
Sara closed her eyes.
She didn’t want to be this kind of tired. The kind that made you hate people for needing you. The kind that made you lash out just to feel your own edges.
But it lived in her bones now. It was in her knees when she crouched to clean hair from the drain. In her back when she leaned too long over the cart. In her teeth when she caught herself grinding them in her sleep.
The joint burned low between her fingers.
She pressed one hand over her heart. Then her mouth.
A silent cross.
“Mi hijo está bien,” she whispered. “Mi hijo está en casa.”
Her voice trembled, but only slightly. She said it again. A little firmer.
“Mi hijo está bien. Mi hijo está en casa.”
As if saying it made it true in more than just location.
She finished the joint, pinched the end out against the inside of the tin, and slid it back into its hiding spot. Then she adjusted her uniform, took a deep breath, and stepped back into the hallway.
Room 401 still needed turning.
But her son was home.
That had to be enough—for now.
The hallway at Karr was humming—locker doors slamming, sneakers squeaking, voices bouncing off tile walls like loose change. Caine kept his head down as usual, dodging eye contact and walking the edge of the current. He hadn’t planned on stopping until the bold gold letters caught his eye:
"TRYOUTS COMING SOON — EDNA KARR COUGARS FOOTBALL"
7-Time State Champions. #TheFreeSmokeTour
Info Meeting: Friday, Feb. 28 After School — Room 112
The flyer was pinned center on the activities board, surrounded by college visit announcements and club posters that looked like they hadn’t been touched since August. But the football one was crisp, clearly just posted. Laminated even. Somebody cared.
Caine stepped closer.
The helmet in the corner of the poster gleamed in the light—a reminder that even in a school full of noise, one game still ruled the heartbeat. He didn’t touch the flyer. Just stared.
“Don’t take too long,” a voice behind him said. “They’re gonna run out.”
He turned. Janae was leaning against the water fountain, backpack over one shoulder, lip gloss just barely catching the light. She gave him a crooked smile.
“I think you have to talk to play football,” she said.
Caine raised an eyebrow. “That right?”
She stepped closer, toe to toe now, eyes sharp but playful. “My brother led won that championship last year. I practically built the playbook.”
Caine snorted. “You teach him how to throw too?”
“Please. He copied my form.”
He shook his head, smiling despite himself. “Yeah, alright.”
She tilted her head, playful and just a little bold. “You thinking about it?”
“That’s why I’m holding the flyer.”
“Well…” she plucked a second flyer from the bottom of the stack, folded it neatly, and held it out to him with two fingers. “Now you got a reminder.”
He took it slow, their fingers brushing—brief but not accidental.
“Let me know if you need pointers,” she added, bumping his shoulder lightly. “I give private lessons.”
“Do I gotta pay?”
She winked. “Nah. First one’s free.”
And then she was gone, turning down the hall with a sway that said she knew he was watching.
Caine didn’t watch her go. He stared at the flyer in his hand, the edge already curling between his fingers. Then he folded it once, tight and clean, and slid it into the side pocket of his backpack.
The boutique was smaller than Mireya expected. Clean, curated, with racks spaced wide enough to feel intentional. She sat on a padded bench near the back office, trying not to shift too much. Her thighs stuck to the vinyl. Her shoes squeaked faintly when she crossed her ankles.
Arelle, the manager—mid-thirties, neat bun, square glasses—flipped through Mireya’s printed resume without much expression. She wore a necklace with her name spelled in cursive and long almond-shaped nails that clicked softly against the paper.
“You’ve worked before?” she asked, eyes still scanning.
Mireya nodded once. “At a taqueria. In the Bywater.”
Arelle looked up briefly. “That can be rough.”
“Yeah.” Mireya didn’t offer more. She wasn’t here to talk about it.
There was a silence while Arelle tapped her pen against the desk.
“Well,” she said, “this is part-time. Weekends mostly, maybe an evening or two if someone needs coverage.”
Mireya nodded again.
“We pay minimum wage. It’s not glamorous. You’d be folding, tagging, straightening up, helping customers who think they’re better than you. You okay with that?”
“I’ve had worse.”
Arelle gave a thin smile. “That wasn’t a challenge.”
Mireya let the silence answer.
“You’re in school?”
“Yeah.”
“Any other responsibilities I should know about?”
“I have a daughter.”
That made Arelle pause, just slightly. “How old?”
“Almost two.”
Arelle didn’t respond right away. She just slid a folder across the desk and opened it.
“You’ll need to fill these out. Tax forms, emergency contact, availability. You said weekends only?”
Mireya nodded. “That’s all I can do.”
“Alright. Saturday mornings it is. Ten to four.”
Mireya took the pen.
She didn’t smile. Didn’t feel like this was a win.
But it was something.
Not enough to fix anything. Not enough to change the math that haunted her every day.
But something that could maybe go on a timecard. Something she could show if someone ever asked what she was doing to try.
She started filling out the forms. Name. Address. Social.
Arelle leaned back, already turning to her computer. “Welcome to retail,” she said, almost as an afterthought.
Mireya didn’t answer. She was already moving to the next blank line.
A full week there would be about as much as what Leo stuffed in the cup holder sometimes. A full shift here might buy diapers and gas. If she didn’t eat.
The line at Winn-Dixie moved slow. The kind of slow that tested patience even when you didn’t have a full day of parole visits behind you.
William Roussel stood beside the cart, still in uniform, the polyester collar itching against his neck. His boots creaked every time he shifted. He didn’t bother taking them off after work anymore—he liked the way they made him feel tall. Solid. The badge caught the late afternoon light under the fluorescents, and more than once he caught a sideways glance from someone up ahead in line. That glance always softened when they saw the state patch. Authority softened suspicion.
Behind him, Peyton scuffed along without urgency, thumbs glued to his phone.
“You see the milk?” Roussel asked, not looking.
No response.
Roussel turned slightly. “Peyton.”
The boy didn’t lift his head. His headphones dangled, only one in his ear.
“Peyton.”
Nothing.
Roussel spun all the way around and snatched the phone from his hand in one sharp motion.
“Hey!” Peyton flinched. “What the hell?”
“You hear me talking to you, you answer,” Roussel snapped, finger jabbing the air between them. “You don’t get to ignore me like one of your little hood friends.”
“Alright, bro, chill—”
“Don’t call me that.” Roussel’s voice spiked. “And stop talking like those fuckin—”
He caught himself mid-word.
An elderly Black woman stood two feet to his right, one hand on a bag of rice, eyebrows lifted.
Roussel straightened. Cleared his throat. “Ma’am.”
She didn’t respond.
He shoved the phone back into Peyton’s chest and turned away, pushing the cart forward with a little too much force. A bag of frozen vegetables nearly bounced out.
Peyton walked behind him, sulking. “You always act like somebody done disrespected you.”
Roussel didn’t answer.
He kept his eyes on the register ahead. Kept his hands steady on the cart handle.
Kept the anger low and tight in his chest, where it couldn’t be seen—just felt.
Behind him, Peyton mumbled something under his breath.
Roussel didn’t catch it.
But he didn’t have to.