Dying to Live

[Caesar]

On My Own

Royce sat in his car in the parking lot. He’d dipped out of his last class of the day early, feigning a bout of food poisoning to catch a few moments away from everyone before he had to go to practice.

He sat in silence, leaned back in the driver’s seat, staring at the cracked dashboard, his fingers tapped on the steering wheel in an erratic pattern.

The bell had rung since he’d been out there, not knowing how long it’d been, having decided that there was nothing in his phone worth looking at. Every once in a while, a group of students passed by, their laughter muffled through the closed windows. Royce clenched his jaw, their joy angering him.

He heard tapping on the driver’s side window, looking up to see Malik standing next to the car, motioning for him to roll down the window. Royce turned the key in the ignition to slide the window down a crack. Malik continued to motion for him to lower it until it was halfway down.

“Fuck is you doing sitting in your car? We got practice,” Malik said. “Don’t tell me one of them bitches you been fucking with done sent you a text telling you that you need to go get tested because she burning.”

“I’m just sitting in the fucking car,” Royce said flatly.

“I see what you doing,” Malik said, his brow furrowing. “I’m just trying to figure out why your ass doing it. You been on some other shit that last couple days and I ain’t the only noticing. Coach is going to break his foot off in your ass if you do some shit like you did yesterday.”

Royce didn’t look away from the steering wheel, continuing to tap on it. “And like I told you yesterday that I’m fucking fine. Fuck off with all these feelings shit. A nigga can’t just want to be alone for a few minutes?”

“Not if that mean that you out here trying to fight every motherfucker you come across. Whatever it is, you need to dead it however you can because this shit ain’t healthy for no one, you incl—”

“I’m just focusing on the fucking game. That’s all I’m fucking doing,” Royce cut him off, his voice sharper than intended. He chopped at the steering wheel with his hand, punctuating his words. “If motherfuckers worried about what I’m doing at practice then maybe they should step their fucking game up so we don’t fucking lose to a team of future of accountants.”

“Man, fuck outta here with that bullshit. You ain’t been worried about losing all season and now you are? Nigga, be for real.”

Royce’s jaw tightened. “Ain’t nobody asking you to worry about what the fuck I’m doing. I got it handled.”

Malik nodded. “Whatever it is, you better have it handled before you end up getting your ass hurt or hurting someone else with that shit you was doing at practice yesterday.”

Royce’s frustration bubbled to the surface. “Bruh, fuck off. God damn. I’m trying to get some peace and quiet and you over here fucking lecturing me like you motherfucking Dr. Phil.”

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Finally, Malik shook his head and tapped the top of the car. “Alright, bruh. You got that.”

Royce rolled the window back up without responding. As Malik walked away, Royce slammed his hand against the steering wheel, the sharp pain throbbing up through his shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~

The sun dipped lower in the sky as Royce pulled into the driveway, the familiar ache in his muscles from practice failing to dull the fire raging in his head. He turned off the engine and sat there for a moment, gripping the steering wheel.

He’d pretended not to notice Alix’s car sitting on the curb.

“Finally,” her voice called out as Royce got out of the car.

She was sitting on the tailgate of Tyrell’s truck, casually scrolling through her phone like she had all the time in the world. When she looked up, there was something sharper than usual behind her eyes.

“What the fuck you want?” Royce asked, getting his bags out of the backseat, slamming the door harder than necessary.

“Waiting on you,” she said, unbothered by his tone. “You’re not going to keep blowing me off. I told you that you weren’t allowed to do that, remember?”

“Ain’t nobody blowing you off. You wasted your time coming here, though. You can fuck off now.”

“Fuck you, Royce. You got some nerve talking about anyone wasting anyone’s time because this isn’t the first time you’ve wasted my time,” she shot back.

He stopped next to the truck. “I didn’t ask you to come here, Alix. You decided to do that on your own. So, like I said, you can just go ahead and fuck right off.”

“For once, just fucking once, can you not act like this? Everyone sees that you’re self-destructing. All I want to do is help you because I care about you.”

He sucked his teeth, dropping his bags at his feet. “Care about me? Bitch, please. I’m a nigga you fuck. That’s it.”

Alix jumped down from the tailgate, shoving Royce’s shoulder but the action didn’t move him. “Do you think I would be here if that’s all you were? You want so bad to be alone in the world. It’s not clicking to anyone else what’s wrong, but I know, Royce. I fucking know what’s going on.”

Royce leaned closer to her then barked out a bitter laugh. “Is that fucking makeup? Hold fucking on.” He stepped back and really took in how she was dressed, how her hair was done. “Are you going on a fucking date? You came here before going see some other nigga to try to get me to cry on your fucking shoulder?”

“Royce,” she said, her voice flat.

“Who is it?”

“Royce, don’t.”

He nodded, stepping back to put some space between them. “That square ass nigga Vic, huh? That’s good though. I know he ain’t gotta worry about no one in his family getting shot, and he definitely ain’t gotta worry about knowing how that fire feel. He’s good for you. Have a nice night, Alix.”

He started to walk away, but Alix grabbed his arm. He pulled his arm away but stopped walking.

“I’m not going to let you push me away. I’m not going to let you throw everything away. If you’re not going to talk to me then you need to talk to someone,” she said.

“That’s not how life works. You ain’t calling no shots here,” he said, bending down to pick his bags up. “Just leave me the fuck alone, Alix. Go on your little date.”

She pressed her lips into a firm line, nodding slowly as she took a step back down the driveway. “Get your shit together, Royce. If you keep pushing everyone away, eventually you’ll get exactly what you’re asking for.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Royce walked into the house, having sat outside for a few hours after his conversation with Alix. Rana was in the kitchen, leaning over the sink, washing dishes. On the table sat a plate of food that’d likely been sitting out waiting for Royce for who knows how long.

Rana looked up and walked over to the plate, picking it up to put it in the microwave. She pointed to the table. “You need to sit down and eat.”

“I ain’t hungry,” Royce said, heading toward the hallway.

“Royce. Sit. Down,” Rana said through clenched teeth, her tone forceful and leaving no room for argument.

He sucked his teeth, dropping his backs on the floor and sitting down at the table, choosing to listen to her to get the process over with so he could retreat back to the guest room and go to sleep.

Neither of them spoke as the microwave warmed the food, the only sound in the house the machine’s hum and then the beeps signifying that it was ready. Rana pulled the food out of the microwave and put the plate down in front of Royce, slapping a fork down on the table next to it.

Royce didn’t move, only staring at the food, baked chicken, mac and cheese and collard greens.

“If you’re going to be like this once a year then you need to go talk to a therapist like I’ve been trying to get you to do for months,” Rana said, leaning against the counter and crossing her arms.

Royce only scoffed at the suggestion.

She sighed. “Look at how your mood has changed in two days, Ro. You were fine last week, looked up at the calendar and now you’re screaming and hollering in your sleep. Roni’s afraid to even be in the same room as you.”

“She’ll be alright,” Royce said, dismissively. He gestured to the food. “You want me to eat this or you want me to listen to you bitch?”

“Bitch? I’m going to let that slide, but you can’t live like this. It took you months to bounce back. Months, Royce. You’ve come so far these last couple of months and you’re going to throw that all away because you can’t accept you need help.”

“What the fuck you want me to do?” Royce snapped, his voice rising. “Sit around and cry to some white woman about my fucking feelings? Pop a couple Zoloft to even me out? Make me forget my… our brother? I ain’t doing none of that shit. Fuck outta here.”

“You need to do something!” Rana shouted, matching his voice in volume. “You just came back from Alabama. That shit is gone if you don’t get a handle on this!”

“You don’t know shit!” He stood up from the table abruptly, knocking the chair over. “I’m not even supposed to be here! I killed him! You want to talk about something being gone? Everything is already fucking gone!”

“I’m just trying to help you,” Rana said, her voice breaking.

“Ain’t nobody asked for your fucking help!” he yelled, grabbing the plate of food and hurling it across the room against the wall. The plate cracked in half, leaving a trail of food streaking down the wall.

Tyrell ran into the room, his eyes wide as he took in the scene. He stepped between the siblings. “Alright, that’s enough. Let’s just calm down.”

“This ain’t got shit to do with you, nigga,” Royce said, turning on Tyrell.

Tyrell reached out to put a hand on Royce’s shoulder to calm him down, but Royce swung a fist at him. Tyrell ducked under his arm, wrapping his arms around Royce’s chest and neck, holding him in place as he tried to throw elbows at Tyrell.

“Calm the fuck down, man!” Tyrell shouted, his grip firm.

“Nah, nigga. Let me go so I can beat your fucking ass!” Royce yelled, thrashing against him.

Rana watched, her hands trembling as tears streamed down her face. “Royce, please,” she whispered.

Royce leaned forward, causing Tyrell to flip over him and lose his grasp as he tumbled to the floor. Tyrell quickly rolled to his feet, his hands in front of him, palms open as he eyed Royce waiting for his next move.

Royce glanced between Rana and Tyrell, their eyes wide and unsure, before backing out of the dining room. He picked up his bags and headed for the door, slamming it behind him.

He jumped in his car, jamming the key into the ignition, his hands shaking with nervous energy. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, typing a quick message to Bree, a hasty decision to find somewhere to crash for the night.

’You up?’

Her response came a few moments later. ’Yeah, come see me’

Tires screeched as he swung the car out of the driveway and sped off into the night.

[djp73]

Ro gotta try to find some peace

[Captain Canada]

Fucking awful, man...

[Soapy]

buddy got offers from LSU and Bama off half a season with a bad leg

#RanAwayFromTheSunBeltGrind

[Caesar]

buddy got offers from LSU and Bama off half a season with a bad leg

#RanAwayFromTheSunBeltGrind

He was a prospect before and ain’t showing no signs of that leg slowing him down. You just hating.

Also, ain't no one said he was going to start. These schools gotta have backups, too.

[Soapy]

buddy got offers from LSU and Bama off half a season with a bad leg

#RanAwayFromTheSunBeltGrind

He was a prospect before and ain’t showing no signs of that leg slowing him down. You just hating.

Also, ain't no one said he was going to start. These schools gotta have backups, too.

I'm just fucking with you, it's ultimately better for the sake of the story BUT let's be fucking for real lmao those backups at Alabama/LSU are high 3-star/low 4-stars that are either extremely physically gifted but under ranked or highly productive players with limited physical attributes that are under ranked.

From my perspective, seems that Royce was already not an SEC recruit before the injury and then got hurt, came back, played a few games and got an SEC offer?

But its probably just too much inside baseball on my part since I do follow recruiting closely, it's the only thing Miami wins at

[Caesar]

buddy got offers from LSU and Bama off half a season with a bad leg

#RanAwayFromTheSunBeltGrind

He was a prospect before and ain’t showing no signs of that leg slowing him down. You just hating.

Also, ain't no one said he was going to start. These schools gotta have backups, too.

I'm just fucking with you, it's ultimately better for the sake of the story BUT let's be fucking for real lmao those backups at Alabama/LSU are high 3-star/low 4-stars that are either extremely physically gifted but under ranked or highly productive players with limited physical attributes that are under ranked.

From my perspective, seems that Royce was already not an SEC recruit before the injury and then got hurt, came back, played a few games and got an SEC offer?

But its probably just too much inside baseball on my part since I do follow recruiting closely, it's the only thing Miami wins at

I get you but...



The red circle is UHigh. The blue square is LSU's campus. LSU kicks the tires on anyone at UHigh that might be worth it. UHigh is literally LSU's high school

Also, that alcohol getting to you. Kentucky was willing to entertain giving Royce a scholarship.

[Soapy]

He was a prospect before and ain’t showing no signs of that leg slowing him down. You just hating.

Also, ain't no one said he was going to start. These schools gotta have backups, too.

I'm just fucking with you, it's ultimately better for the sake of the story BUT let's be fucking for real lmao those backups at Alabama/LSU are high 3-star/low 4-stars that are either extremely physically gifted but under ranked or highly productive players with limited physical attributes that are under ranked.

From my perspective, seems that Royce was already not an SEC recruit before the injury and then got hurt, came back, played a few games and got an SEC offer?

But its probably just too much inside baseball on my part since I do follow recruiting closely, it's the only thing Miami wins at

I get you but...



The red circle is UHigh. The blue square is LSU's campus. LSU kicks the tires on anyone at UHigh that might be worth it. UHigh is literally LSU's high school

Also, that alcohol getting to you. Kentucky was willing to entertain giving Royce a scholarship.

i took a look and them boys got more kids from Tampa on their current 2025 commit list than from that school.

https://247sports.com/college/lsu/seaso ... l/commits/

DJ Pickett to the U soon though.

[Caesar]

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[Caesar]

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