Ruins of Pompeii.

[Soapy]

Week 4 NFL Top Stories
Saints extend Chris Olave, end two-year long ordeal over contract
Jermaine Johnson II was a force on defense against the Broncos, recording three sacks
Ollie Gordon II goes off for 187 yards, four touchdowns in breakout performance
Isaac Guerendo does it all against the Rams with 165 total yards, two touchdowns
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Players of the Week
QB Josh Allen: 19-34, 362 yards, touchdown, 10 carries, 90 yards, touchdown
CB Denzel Burke: 9 tackles, interception
QB Michael Penix Jr: 23-27, 320 yards, 5 touchdowns
CB Will Johnson: 7 tackles, interception, touchdown
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Notable Injuries
HB Javonte Williams: Season (ankle)
HB Nick Chubb: 6 weeks (collarbone)
WR Adonai Mitchell: Season (shoulder)
DT Jordan Davis: 6 weeks (knee)
HB Travis Etienne Jr: 5 weeks (back)
QB Jared Goff: 6 weeks (collarbone)
WR George Pickens: 6 weeks (hand)
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Notable Transactions
Steelers re-sign S Minkah Fitzpatrick (4yr/$111m)
Steelers re-sign LB Patrick Queen (4yr/$79.6m)
Saints re-sign WR Chris Olave (4yr/$114m)
Colts re-sign WR Michael Pittman Jr. (4yr/$114m)
Jaguars re-sign LB Devin Lloyd (4yr/$65.5m)
Raiders sign LB C.J. Mosley (1yr/$3.07m)

[Captain Canada]

That NFL banner

[Soapy]

[Soapy]

That NFL banner

2. Presentation & Writing Quality: 9/10

I took that personally.

[Soapy]

Week 5 Preview: vs. New York Jets
Record: 1-3
Key Addition: T Fa'alili Fa'amoe (draft), WR Elijah Sarratt (draft)
Head Coach: Robert Saleh
Offensive Coordinator: Nathanial Hackett (West Coast Zone Run)
Defensive Coordinator: Jeff Ulbrich (4-3 Cover 3)

Team Leaders
Passing: Kenny Pickett (57 cmp%, 702 yards, 3 TD, 6 INT, 63.3 passer rating)
Rushing: Braelon Allen (95 yards, 3.8 ypc, 0 TD)
Receiving: Davante Adams (18 receptions, 279 yards, TD)
Blocking: 6 sacks allowed
Defense: Quinnen Williams (13 tackles, 4.5 sacks)

Injury Report
P Ryan Stonehouse (healthy)
QB Drake Maye (healthy)
CB Daylen Everette (healthy)
HB Rhamondre Stevenson (out/labrum)
WR Barion Brown (out/foot)
HB Breece Hall (out/collarbone)
G Alijah Vera-Tucker (out/foot)

New York Jets Projected Starters
QB #9 Kenny Pickett | 6'3", 225lbs | 76 ovr, 81 spd, 87 acc, 88 thp, 89 sac, 88 mac, 80 dac
HB #0 Braelon Allen | 6'1", 235lbs | 78 ovr, 88 spd, 89 acc, 88 cod, 85 car, 82 trk, 90 jkm
WR #5 Garrett Wilson | 6'0", 192lbs | 88 ovr, 92 spd, 93 acc, 93 cod, 94 cth, 87 rls
WR #15 Davante Adams | 6'1", 215lbs | 87 ovr, 86 spd, 86 acc, 92 cod, 84 cth, 93 rls
WR #18 Mike Williams | 6'4", 218lbs | 79 ovr, 87 spd, 83 acc, 76 cod, 87 cth, 80 rls
TE #85 Luke Lachey | 6'6", 247lbs | 74 ovr, 82 spd, 87 acc, 78 cth, 59 rbk
LT #74 Olumuyowa Fashanu | 6'6", 312lbs | 86 ovr, 88 str, 90 pbk, 79 rbk
LG #76 John Simpson | 6'4", 324lbs | 73 ovr, 92 str, 70 pbk, 72 rbk
C #66 Joe Tippmann | 6'6", 317lbs | 82 ovr, 89 str, 81 pbk, 85 rbk
RG #52 D.J. Campbell | 6'3", 330lbs | 71 ovr, 90 str, 74 pbk, 67 rbk
RT #73 Fa'alili Fa'amoe | 6'5", 309lbs | 73 ovr, 82 str, 77 pbk, 73 rbk
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EDGE #7 Haason Reddick | 6'1", 240lbs | 85 ovr, 85 spd, 88 acc, 81 str, 84 pmv, 86 fmv, 74 bsh
EDGE #99 Will McDonald IV | 6'3", 241lbs | 72 ovr, 82 spd, 88 acc, 69 str, 73 pmv, 82 fmv, 75 bsh
IDL #95 Quinnen Williams | 6'3", 303lbs | 96 ovr, 84 acc, 94 str, 90 pmv, 87 fmv, 97 bsh
IDL #97 Kevin Givens | 6'1", 285lbs | 73 ovr, 66 acc, 89 str, 73 pmv, 66 fmv, 74 bsh
ILB #56 Quincy Williams | 5'11", 221lbs | 86 ovr, 88 spd, 93 acc, 87 tkl, 70 bsh, 70 mcv, 81 zcv
ILB #57 Nakobe Dean | 5'11", 231lbs |
CB #1 Sauce Gardner | 6'3", 200lbs | 99 ovr, 93 spd, 94 acc, 99 mcv, 98 zcv, 99 press
CB #4 D.J. Reed Jr. | 5'9", 188lbs | 89 ovr, 91 spd, 92 acc, 79 mcv, 90 zcv, 88 press
NB #30 Michael Carter II | 5'10", 184lbs | 80 ovr, 93 spd, 93 acc, 83 mcv, 80 zcv, 73 press
S #22 Tony Adams | 6'0", 205lbs | 76 ovr, 89 spd, 93 acc, 78 mcv, 79 zcv, 60 tkl
S #19 Isaiah Simmons | 6'4", 238lbs | 78 ovr, 91 spd, 92 acc, 72 mcv, 68 zcv, 78 tkl

[Captain Canada]

idc who's out or not. we do not lose to the fucking jets.

do the lords work

[Soapy]

idc who's out or not. we do not lose to the fucking jets.

do the lords work

our lord and savior Drake the first of his name is not losing to the jets brudda

[Soapy]

Going back to the OG House Rules in an effort to make this more challenging.

Gameplay Restrictions
- No switching players on offense or defense after the snap with exception being on offense during designed jump ball situations (ie goal-line fade).
- No unusual moving of defensive players pre-snap (ie moving a player with deep third responsibility close to the LOS)
- Must 'user' whichever player on defense was involved in the last play from scrimmage (tackle, pass breakup, nearest out of bounds, etc.)
- No hot routes allowed on offense or defense. Defense allowed to shift to adjust to offense formation or game situation.
- Must mix up the snap cadence on offense in order to simulate real-game scenarios and be susceptible to false start penalties.
- No audibling on the road.
- Audibling at home is limited to quick audibles (ie: run play, quick pass, man coverage) only under the following circumstances:
- Defense is overloaded to one side. QB is allowed to flip the run play.
- Defense is playing press coverage on a WR screen/bubble play. QB is allowed to audible to a run.
- Defense is showing blitz on a run headed towards the player(s) showing blitz. QB is allowed to flip the run play.
- Offense is lining up in an empty set on a play where a blitz is called. Defense is allowed to audible out of the blitz.
- Offense is lining up in the wildcat formation. Defense is allowed to audible to a blitz.
- Offense has overloaded one side of the football. Defense is allowed to audible to man coverage in order to match leverage.
- Cannot utilize the pre-snap coach view (reveals play being run) on offense. Allowed once per play on defense and an additional time if the offense changes formation/motions.
- Play selection is limited to the first page of recommended plays on offense and defense.
- Can overrule AI fourth down decision once per half. In those situations, offense must run a play from the recommended plays section (any page).

Roster Management Restrictions
- Must prioritize using Practice Squad to handle mid-season injuries as opposed to free agents.
- Players poached from another team's practice squad must spend at least four weeks on the active roster before being demoted back to practice squad or be released back into free agency for at least one simulated week.
- Can only enter re-signing negotiations prior to off-season with one player rated 90-99, one player from offense and defense rated 80-89 and two players (offense or defense) rated 70-79.
- During off-season, allowed to extend extension offer to one player of any rating who has not previously been negotiated with.
- Limited to two offers during off-season free agency to players rated over 90 overall. If team lost a player rated over 90 overall to free agency, team receives an additional offer to use.
- Limited to five offers during off-season free agency to players rated over 85 overall. If team lost a player rated over 85 overall to free agency, team receives an additional offer to use.
- No trading of players for draft picks once draft has begun.

[Soapy]

‣ NFL 2026 Regular Season Week 5 - Gillette Stadium, Foxborough, Massachusetts
(2-3) New York Jets at New England Patriots (2-3)

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NYJ | 7 | 17 | 7 | 0 | 31
NE | 0 | 6 | 7 | 15 | 28

New England's comeback efforts fall short against the Jets as game-tying field goal comes up short
Drake Maye put on his best Tom Brady impersonation, leading the Patriots back from a 31-6 deficit to make it a three point gamelate in the fourth quarter with a chance to force overtime or even win the game. The Jets' sack of Maye with 42 seconds left would prove to be the difference maker as Andres Borregales 53-yard field goal would fall short, helping the Jets secure the 31-28 victory.

The Jets had to sweat out the second half after breezing their way to a twenty-four point lead, aided by Sauce Gardner's pick-six of Maye in the first half. In his first game back from an injury that sidelined him for two games, it took two quarters and a half for Maye to get going but once he did, the Jets had no answers for him.

He found Christian Watson across the middle of the field on third and sixteen to help set up Derrick Henry's fourth and two conversion and the next play, he found Demario Douglas for a 20-yard pick up late in the third quarter. He'd hook up with Hunter Henry for the first touchdown of the night.

A three-and-out by New England's battered defense would lead toa 25-yard pick up by Gavin Sawchuck to galvanize the once quiet Patriots crowd, who came to life when Maye ran around, buying time in the backfield before firing a laser to Javon Baker for the touchdown to make it a game. It followed by another Jets three-and-out and another masterclass from Maye who had completions of sixteen and seventeen yards to Javon Baker and Oscar Delp respectively and when a holding call took New England from the Jets' one-yard line to the eleven yard line, it was no big deal for Maye who found Henry for the touchdown.

Kenny Pickett and the Jets' offense's struggled continued with five minutes left in the game, failing to pick up more than one first down and giving Maye the ball back with two minutes left and all three timeouts. Maye had back-to-back scrambles of twenty-five and then nine yards to get the ball on the Jets' 25-yad line but Nik Bonito ran right pass Patriots right tackle Taylor Morton for the sack.

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Scoring Summary
Quarter 1
Braelon Allen, 3 Yd run (5:57)

Quarter 2
Trey Wolff, 25 Yd FG (11:57)
Sauce Gardner, returned interception 72 Yds (8:55)
Andres Borregales, 41 Yd FG (3:53)
Kenny Pickett, 8 Yd run (0:29)
Andres Borregales, 42 Yd FG (0:01)

Quarter 3
Tyler Conklin 2 Yd pass from Kenny Pickett (7:08)
Hunter Henry 3 Yd pass from Drake Maye (2:10)

Quarter 4
Javon Baker 9 Yd pass from Drake Maye (10:51)
Hunter Henry 11 Yd pass from Drake Maye -- 2pt (5:12)

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Player Stats
QB Kenny Pickett: 19-31, 165 yards, touchdown, sacked once
QB Drake Maye: 26-37, 256 yards, 3 touchdowns, interception, sacked 4 times, 5 carries, 61 yards, 2 fumbles (2 recovered)

HB Braelon Allen: 13 carries, 100 yards, touchdown
HB Antonio Gibson: 9 carries, 64 yards
HB Derrick Henry: 8 carries, 26 yards
HB Gavin Sawchuk: 6 carries, 51 yards


WR Davante Adams: 4 receptions, 48 yards
WR Garrett Wilson: 4 receptions, 40 yards
WR Demario Douglas: 6 receptions, 47 yards
TE Hunter Henry: 5 receptions, 40 yards, 2 touchdowns
WR Javon Baker: 4 receptions, 45 yards, touchdown
WR Christian Watson: 4 receptions, 45 yards

LT Will Campbell: 88.6 PFF grade
LG Layden Robinson: 65.2 PFF grade
C Drew Dalman: Did not finish game
RG Michael Onwenu: Did not finish game
RT Taylor Morton: 91.5 PFF grade

LB Nakobe Dean: 11 tackles, 2 tackles for loss
S Tony Adams: 10 tackles, tackle for loss
CB Sauce Gardner: 6 tackles, tackle for loss, interception
LB Tyrel Dodson: 9 tackles, tackle for loss (81 PFF grade)
EDGE Chase Young: 4 tackles, 2 tackles for loss, 0.5 sack (70.6 PFF grade)

[Captain Canada]

Throw the whole chise out