Dying to Live

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Caesar
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Dying to Live

Post by Caesar » 28 Apr 2025, 17:22

Dissonance

The café buzzed with lazy Sunday energy — the low hum of conversation, the clatter of silverware against plates, the occasional pop of laughter from a crowded table near the window. The smell of fresh coffee and powdered sugar hung thick in the air, too sweet, too warm.

Alix sat alone at a small round table tucked into the corner, her untouched plate of avocado toast growing cold in front of her. She stirred her coffee absently, watching the foam spiral into slow, defeated circles.

Her phone buzzed on the table. She glanced at it quickly — a tiny rush of hope she hated herself for — but it wasn’t Royce.

It was Madi.

Madi: You been “busy” all week huh? 😂 Let me find out you ghosting your own roommates.

Alix smiled faintly — not a real smile, just a soft twitch of her mouth — and thumbed out a reply, feeling hollow even as she typed.

Alix: Omg I know. Been running around like crazy. I swear it’s not personal lol 🫶🏼

She set the phone down again, face-up, even though she already knew Royce’s name wasn’t going to flash across the screen.

The last message from him sat there like a thumbprint on glass:

Royce: My bad. Got roped into some team shit. Then a NIL meeting. You know how it is. Rain check?

No apology beyond the casual "my bad." No real acknowledgment that he’d just... disappeared.

She hadn’t answered. She didn’t really know how to anymore.

Alix took a slow sip of coffee, the bitterness sinking into her tongue, into her chest.

She wasn’t angry. Anger would’ve been easier — sharp, clean, something she could swing like a bat if she needed to.

This was something else.

Something quieter. Something that made her feel like an empty seat at her own table.

She cut into the toast, chewing mechanically, tasting nothing. A couple across the café laughed, leaning into each other over pancakes. A father spun his daughter’s straw into her juice while she squealed. A group of college girls clinked mimosas over brunch, sunlight catching their rings and bracelets as they posed for selfies.

Alix tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, glancing again at her phone when it buzzed — another meme from Simone this time.

She smiled politely at the screen, the way you smile at a joke you didn’t really get but didn’t want to ask about.

Everyone else seemed to be busy, but not in the way she was. They were busy living. She was busy waiting.

For what, exactly, she didn’t know anymore.

She thought, briefly, about texting Royce back. About telling him she’d waited for him. About saying she’d sat alone at a two-top table like a ghost for almost an hour, watching the door even after she knew he wasn’t coming.

She could imagine it: He’d apologize lightly. Maybe joke. Maybe say he’d make it up to her — but not today, not soon. And she’d smile and say it was fine, because what else was there to say?

She stared at the coffee until the foam disappeared into the black.

Then she tucked her phone into her purse, pulled a twenty from her wallet, and slid it under her plate.

When the waitress passed, cheerful and bright, Alix gave her a practiced smile.

"Have a great day!" the girl chirped.

"You too," Alix said, the words brushing out like dust.

Outside, the sun was too bright. The sidewalk glittered with heat. She slipped on her sunglasses, shielding her face like it might also shield everything she was trying not to feel.

As she walked toward her car, her phone buzzed again.

She didn’t look.

Not yet.

Maybe not at all.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sunlight blasted through the wide, uncovered windows of Royce’s apartment, flooding the room with brutal, white-hot glare. There were no blinds, no curtains — just naked glass and the full weight of the morning pressing against him like judgment.

Royce lay sprawled across the couch, a damp washcloth draped across his forehead, breathing shallowly through the tight grip of his hangover. His mouth tasted like cotton and regret. Every beat of his heart pulsed behind his eyes like a slow hammer.

The apartment was a wreck. Empty beer bottles on the floor, a half-eaten box of Popeyes sliding off the kitchen counter, someone's jacket — not his — hanging limply over the back of a chair.

The muted TV played a loop of Saturday’s highlights. Royce caught flashes of the McNeese game — himself crushing a running back in the backfield, high-fiving teammates, laughing under the floodlights.

He stared at the screen without feeling a thing.

The win had been automatic. A warm-up. Nothing to get excited over.

He dragged a hand over his face, grunting as the movement sent another sharp jab through his skull.

Somewhere near his feet, his phone buzzed against the hardwood. He leaned down slowly, grabbing it with two fingers like it might explode.

A group text from Earl. Another from Jay. A video of someone stage-diving at the afterparty.

Nothing from Alix.

Royce let the phone sit in his hand, heavy and familiar.

Not like he didn’t know why.

He'd blown her off that morning. Told her he had team meetings, NIL stuff he couldn’t skip. Told her he’d make it up to her, some other time.

Truth was, he hadn't even remembered the brunch until he woke up half-dressed on the couch at noon, his phone buzzing with half-missed alarms.

He hadn’t called to explain. Hadn’t apologized. Hadn’t really wanted to hear the disappointment in her voice.

Easier to pretend he was too busy. Easier to act like it wasn’t that big a deal.

Except now, sitting in the wreckage of the night before, the excuse felt thinner than he wanted to admit.

He flicked through his notifications again — almost against his own will — like maybe he missed a text from her. A missed call. Something.

Nothing.

He dropped the phone onto the coffee table face-up, pretending it didn’t bother him even as it burned a hole in the edge of his vision.

She was the one pulling away anyway. She was the one who hadn’t been showing up lately.

That’s what he told himself.

And if part of him remembered the way she used to light up when she saw him — if part of him missed it — he shoved that part down until it went quiet again.

He pushed himself upright slowly, his joints creaking like rusted hinges. His body wasn’t sore from hits — it was sore from everything else: the drinks, the noise, the weight of pretending none of it touched him.

He shuffled into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and stared blankly at the barren shelves before settling for another bottle of Gatorade.

The harsh light kept pouring in, spotlighting every beer stain, every crumpled napkin, every choice he didn’t want to think about.

No blinds.

No curtains.

Nowhere to hide.

He took a long drink of Gatorade, grimaced, and swiped his phone off the table again without even thinking.

Still nothing from her.

With a short, sharp breath through his nose — part frustration, part acceptance — Royce locked the phone, tossed it onto the bed as he passed, and disappeared into the bathroom.

The door shut behind him, and the apartment settled back into silence.

Empty, except for the fading echo of everything he wouldn’t say out loud.

~~~~~~~~~~


The late afternoon heat clung to the parking lot like a second skin, making the blacktop shimmer and the air buzz with invisible weight. The sun hadn’t let up all day, and even now — well into the evening — the air was still thick and heavy, pressing against skin, dragging every movement down.

Toni stood outside the strip mall coffee shop with Yazmeen and Keisha, her arms folded tightly across her chest despite the sticky humidity. She wore jeans and a loose, long-sleeved white shirt, sleeves pulled all the way down to her wrists, the fabric billowing slightly when the faintest breeze dared to stir.

Around her, girls wore tank tops and shorts, sundresses and sandals, sipping iced coffees and fanning themselves with their phones. The heat was something everyone talked about, laughed about — except for Toni.

"Girl, you are gonna die of heatstroke," Yazmeen said, laughing lightly as she pulled her sunglasses down onto her nose. She nudged Toni’s arm. "You really couldn’t find one t-shirt in your closet today?"

Keisha chimed in, sipping her drink. "For real. You look like you about to go paint a house or something."

Toni laughed too — or something close enough to it — but the sound didn’t have the same lift as theirs. It caught somewhere in her throat and flattened before it could bloom into something real.

"I’m clumsy," she said, smiling too quickly, too wide. "Walked into my dresser the other night. Got this ugly-ass bruise. Y’all don’t wanna see it."

She waved it off with a small chuckle, like it was no big deal. Like the story explained everything.

Yazmeen tilted her head, studying her. "You sure you good, though? I mean—"

"I’m good," Toni cut in, still smiling. Too fast. Too bright. Her eyes didn’t even flicker with it.

The other girls exchanged a look over their iced coffees, the kind of look people give when they feel something’s off but don’t know how deep they’re allowed to dig.

Toni felt it — the weight of their suspicion — but she just pulled her sleeves lower down over her hands and shifted the strap of her purse higher onto her shoulder like she was physically shouldering the conversation away.

"I’m just clumsy as hell," she said again, softer this time, like if she said it enough, maybe it would sound true. Maybe it would be true.

Yazmeen opened her mouth like she wanted to push again, but Keisha caught her elbow and gave a tiny shake of her head.

Let it go.

Toni saw it all. Felt it all.

She didn’t blame them.

If she were them, she wouldn’t want to hear the truth either.

They slipped back into easy conversation — Yazmeen teasing Keisha about some guy who’d been blowing up her DMs, Keisha swearing she was going to block him — and Toni let herself float on the surface of it, nodding and laughing in the right places, her hands wrapped tightly around the sweaty plastic of her drink.

Inside, she felt herself sinking deeper.

She could feel it happening — the way she was pulling inward, walling off little pieces of herself, brick by invisible brick.

Smile. Nod. Say you're fine.

It was easier. Cleaner.

The bruises would fade. The way Deshawn’s fingers had clamped around her wrist the other night would fade. The way his voice had snapped through the room when she said the wrong thing would fade.

All she had to do was make it until then.

Toni adjusted her sleeve again and tipped her drink up to her lips, letting the condensation smear cool trails across her knuckles.

"Y’all wanna go inside?" Keisha asked, swinging her purse over her shoulder. "It’s hotter than hell out here."

"Yeah," Yazmeen said, already heading toward the door.

Toni nodded along, falling into step behind them, her sleeves fluttering slightly as she moved, hiding everything she wasn’t ready — or allowed — to say.

Inside, the air-conditioning blasted cold against her overheated skin, but it didn't make her feel any lighter.

If anything, the chill just reminded her how far away she was drifting — how even when she was standing right next to people, she could still feel a thousand miles removed.

And no one — not even herself — could reach her anymore.
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Captain Canada
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Dying to Live

Post by Captain Canada » 28 Apr 2025, 17:56

Toni gonna end up on the 5 o'clock news at this rate. Homeboy too comfortable whooping her shit. Sad as hell to read.

Soapy
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Dying to Live

Post by Soapy » 29 Apr 2025, 07:35

at this rate, you might as well have Royce beat on that girl, only thing missing from the shitty boyfriend package
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Post by Caesar » 29 Apr 2025, 09:15

Captain Canada wrote:
28 Apr 2025, 17:56
Toni gonna end up on the 5 o'clock news at this rate. Homeboy too comfortable whooping her shit. Sad as hell to read.
Buddy whipped out the abusers’ handbook and isolated her.
Soapy wrote:
29 Apr 2025, 07:35
at this rate, you might as well have Royce beat on that girl, only thing missing from the shitty boyfriend package
It’s a lot of things Royce is and a lot of things Royce ain’t, and one of them things he ain’t is someone who puts his hands on women :smh:
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Post by Caesar » 29 Apr 2025, 09:16

Know Your Worth

The back room of the smoothie shop was nothing special — a worn wooden table, a few mismatched chairs, a faint hum of the cooler drifting in from the front. If you didn’t know better, you’d think it was just three men ducking the afternoon heat, killing time over protein shakes and lukewarm air conditioning.

But Royce knew better.

He sat hunched forward at the table, a bottle of water sweating under his hand. Across from him, Billy clicked through a spreadsheet on his tablet, his thumb moving in small, efficient flicks. Delpit sat between them, leaned back in his chair like he wasn’t in a rush for anything.

"Alright," Billy said, not looking up, "here’s what’s on the table."

He turned the tablet so Royce could see.

Logos floated next to small descriptions — companies he barely recognized. Local car dealership spots. A regional athletic gear line. A social media campaign for a smoothie chain. And farther down the list, highlighted in bright blue, an energy drink offer with the words “Expedited payout available” typed neatly underneath.

Billy tapped the energy drink line. "These people want you bad. They’ll cut the check today if you sign."

Royce studied it, jaw tight.

He could already see it: some cheesy commercial with him holding a neon can, yelling something into the camera like a fool.

He didn’t say anything yet.

He didn’t have to. Delpit was already watching him, that calm, sharp gaze he always carried.

"You like money fast?" Delpit asked casually, picking up his smoothie and swirling it once without drinking.

Royce shrugged. "Don’t everybody?"

Billy smirked behind the tablet, but Delpit stayed serious.

"Yeah," he said, setting the cup down with a soft thunk. "Everybody likes it fast. That’s the point. It’s supposed to make you bite without thinking."

Royce leaned back slightly, the chair creaking under his weight.

"You could sign this deal," Delpit continued. "Make a quick five grand. Maybe ten."

He paused.

"And every time somebody sees your name after that, they'll think about a five-thousand-dollar energy drink deal. Not about a first-round pick. Not about leadership. Not about long-term value."

Billy nodded. "It’s not a bad check. But it’s small money thinking."

Royce glanced between them, feeling the weight of their words.

He looked back at the tablet.

The money would’ve been easy. Quick. One text, one signature, one check.

But it would’ve been just that — easy. Quick. Forgettable.

He exhaled, running a hand over his jaw.

"You told me before," Delpit said, voice lower now, like they were dropping into a conversation that mattered, "you got business in your DNA."

Royce met his eyes.

"Then move like it," Delpit said. "Be the man companies chase — not the one chasing them. If your name’s attached to everything, it don’t mean anything. Make ‘em wait. Make ‘em want it."

There was no judgment in his voice. Just truth.

Billy cleared his throat. "We got other deals coming. Better ones. Stuff that makes sense with your brand. If you stay focused."

Royce tapped the table lightly, thinking.

He thought about his father, sitting across from him in Dixon, telling him not to embarrass the name. He thought about Romeo. He thought about where he wanted to be — not just next year, but five years from now. Ten.

Finally, he pushed the tablet back toward Billy.

"Pass," he said simply.

Billy smiled a little. Not much. Just enough to say good choice without needing the words.

Delpit leaned forward slightly, resting his forearms on the table.

"This ain’t just about today," he said. "This about learning how to move. You smart enough to know that."

Royce nodded once, slow and deliberate.

"I’m learning," he said.

Delpit smiled — the first real one Royce had seen from him all afternoon. Not wide. Not flashy. But real.

"Good," he said, sitting back again. "’Cause the more they want you, the more they’ll find ways to use you. Your job’s to make sure you’re the one doing the using."

Royce took a sip of his water, letting the words settle.

Nobody at the table said it, but the truth was clear between them:

Royce Lafitte wasn’t just a player anymore. He was becoming an investment.

And for the first time in his life, he was starting to understand how to protect himself like one.

~~~~~~~~~~

The sun was low over Natchitoches, bleeding out into a dull haze across the horizon as the last few whistles of practice echoed across the cracked turf. The bleachers sat mostly empty except for a handful of assistant trainers gathering up gear, their voices sharp and practical in the cooling air.

Mike stood near the far sideline, one hand shading his eyes against the lingering light. He wore no pads, no cleats — just a Northwestern State t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of battered sneakers. He looked like a recruit who’d gotten lost, not part of the team.

But he wasn’t lost.

His eyes followed every drill. Every step. Every adjustment.

While the starters ran through final gameday prep, Mike stayed sharp — legs tense, phone in his hand, thumb tapping quick notes into the app he’d started using to track everything he didn’t know yet.

Defensive tendencies. Routes called at the line. Which coaches snapped quicker when a player was slow. Who the quarterback looked at first when he got rattled.

He wasn’t even close to dressing out. He knew that. He was a walk-on in every sense — invisible, unproven, easy to forget.

But that didn’t mean he was planning to stay invisible.

Not for long.

The final air horn blew. Helmets came off. Coaches barked reminders about curfew and breakfast check-ins. The players drifted toward the locker room in loose, tired clumps, slapping hands, trading jabs, making weekend plans.

Mike lingered a second longer, thumb finishing the last bullet point in his phone before sliding it into his pocket.

He was about to head toward the parking lot alone when a voice cut across the settling dust.

"Yo, new guy!"

Mike looked up. It was Carter — a second-string wideout who had barely looked at him twice during fall camp.

"You grabbing food?" Carter asked, shifting his backpack onto one shoulder. He was flanked by a couple other players Mike barely knew — guys who were second-string too, guys who knew what it was to wait and grind and be patient.

Mike hesitated.

He wasn’t used to being asked. Not anymore. In Houma, he moved through life by default — family, familiar blocks, familiar faces.

Here, he was just another body in a purple shirt, another question mark.

He weighed it for a half-second longer than he should have.

Carter caught the pause and grinned, easy and sharp. "Man, you good? I know you hungry. Let’s roll."

Mike chuckled under his breath and nodded once. "Yeah," he said, sliding his hands into his pockets. "Yeah, I’m coming."

He fell into step beside them, the gravel crunching under their shoes as they headed toward the parking lot.

Behind them, the field sat quiet now — empty cleats swinging from hands, helmets tucked under arms — but Mike glanced back over his shoulder once before the hill dipped and the turf disappeared from view.

One day.

He didn’t know when. Didn’t know how.

But he knew he’d walk onto that field for real.

And when he did, he wasn’t planning on walking back off.

~~~~~~~~~~

The office smelled like fresh-cut wood and fabric samples — crisp, clean, almost clinical — but somewhere underneath lingered the faint scent of burnt coffee from the Keurig in the corner. The space was all sleek lines and muted neutrals: white oak floors, matte black fixtures, velvet chairs in sage and ash-gray. Even the natural light that poured through the wide front windows seemed... managed, softened by linen drapes designed to make it feel effortless.

Alix sat at the large communal table in the design bullpen, a stack of sample boards spread out in front of her. Her palms pressed against her jeans under the table, drying off the nervous sheen of sweat that had crept in around hour two.

It had been two weeks since she started her internship at Roux Interiors. — one of Baton Rouge’s most respected interior design firms — and every day still felt like trying to breathe underwater.

But she was starting to swim.

Sort of.

Across the table, Marcy, her assigned mentor — mid-thirties, slick bun, eternally clicking nails — nodded as she flipped through the latest space plan Alix had drafted.

"Your eye’s good," Marcy said, tapping the page once with a manicured finger. "Clean lines. You understand negative space better than most juniors I've seen."

Alix smiled, trying to swallow the quick flash of pride that rose to her cheeks. She wasn’t used to compliments about things that mattered. Pretty. Nice. Polite. Those, she knew how to deflect.

But this — this was different.

She leaned forward slightly, careful not to knock over the stack of swatches by her elbow. "Thanks," she said, voice steady even though her heart was beating a little faster. "I’m still learning a lot. Trying not to get too much in my own head."

Marcy smiled — not patronizing, not dismissive — and pushed the plan back toward her. "You're doing better than you think. Trust your instincts more."

Before Alix could say anything else, one of the junior designers, a woman named Casey, slid into the seat beside her, cradling a to-go coffee cup between both hands. Casey wore high-waisted slacks and sneakers with a casual ease Alix envied.

"You’ve got a real gift," Casey said, blowing over the lid of her coffee like she had all the time in the world. "Clients are gonna eat you up."

Alix blinked, caught off-guard. She laughed a little, awkward but genuine. "Hopefully not in a bad way."

Casey grinned, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "No, seriously. You’ve got that thing — that sense for how people want a space to feel, not just how they want it to look. That’s half the battle."

Alix tucked a loose strand of hair back into her bun, the compliment sitting strange but warm in her chest.

"Thanks," she said again, softer this time.

She knew it was just small talk, just a casual thing tossed out during a coffee break — but for some reason, it clung to her ribs tighter than she expected.

Clients are going to eat you up.

She wasn't just surviving here. She was — maybe — starting to belong.

Even if a part of her still braced for someone to pull the rug out.

Marcy stood, gathering her things. "Finish refining the mock-up for the Ducharme project," she said. "Bring it by my desk before five."

Alix nodded, straightening the samples in front of her automatically.

As Marcy walked off, Casey lingered a second longer, sipping her coffee.

"You’ll get used to it," she said, like she could see the storm of doubt still flickering behind Alix’s polite smile.

"Used to what?"

Casey shrugged. "People actually seeing you."

And then she was gone, her sneakers squeaking lightly against the polished floor as she disappeared around the corner.

Alix sat there for a second longer, her fingers tracing the edge of the space plan without moving it.

Outside the window, the sun dipped lower, turning the sky a muted gold that matched the tones she'd picked for the Ducharme project without even realizing it.

Maybe she did have an eye for this after all.

Maybe — for the first time in a long time — she wasn't just something to look at.

Maybe she was the one seeing.

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Dying to Live

Post by Soapy » 29 Apr 2025, 09:45

What exactly is this fuck nigga's brand
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Post by Caesar » 29 Apr 2025, 12:20

Soapy wrote:
29 Apr 2025, 09:45
What exactly is this fuck nigga's brand
The ultimate underdog story. Overcoming every potential pitfall thrown at a young Black man in the inner-city, including being a victim of gun violence, to become one of the nation’s top linebackers. Showing that through faith in the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and oneself, anything is possible. /commercial
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Post by Caesar » 29 Apr 2025, 12:20

Off with His Head
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Post by djp73 » 29 Apr 2025, 12:58

let's get some takeaways
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Post by Caesar » 29 Apr 2025, 13:23

djp73 wrote:
29 Apr 2025, 12:58
let's get some takeaways
teams know better than to throw it Royce’s way now
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